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The brokenman This is a long article, still more than (10000 characters) left, so PT4 is needed, does he get repaired, as we hit PT.3

With the mechanics and daily disciplines of my job hunt in place, I decided to cease my self chastisement and start living again.

I had become somewhat of a recluse. Notwithstanding the necessity to conserve my money I did not want to keep repeating my excuses for Nat’s absence to friends I meet.

I have a group of professional friends who I have been pals with we since we were boy choristers in a church choir 45 years ago. They persuaded me to go with them to a dance they had organised for a charity and held at a community centre. It was a 70’s theme night and everyone was dressed in gear from the era that style forgot. It turned out to be a fun evening; the crowd were all in their 40s and 50s and there were a number of rather attractive if somewhat overblown women in attendance. Most of them had taken the opportunity to dress minimally to show off their breasts; there were some magnificent specimens on display …if you like that sort of thing.

There was one particular woman in her late 40s who attracted a lot of attention, the kind usually only generated after the 6th pint. She was not particularly pretty and her breasts were average at best but if you asked all the men there that night the eternal question “would you?” the answer would have been affirmative and universal.

My one mate is a forensic scientist he was quite fascinated with her but his scientific mind was troubled because he couldn’t work out why he found her so attractive?

I enlightened him. She was the only woman in the room with a discernable waistline

Needless to report I did not pull that evening but on returning to my empty flat I accepted I needed to shed the hair shirt, I was not the first chap to be made a fool of by a Thai girl I will certainly not be the last. I had not caused the circumstances of the separation from my wife. I was to all intents and purpose a single bloke again.

I needed a little romance in my life

Back to the internet and the left handed mouse?

For some time Western females have held little attraction for me. However my love affair with Thailand and its womanhood had understandably diminished so I decided to suspend my prejudice and once again try my hand with English women. The problem remained I had very little positive experience with them, I had not kissed an English woman for 6 years and had not enjoyed any serious intimacy with a western woman (other than my English wife) for over 20 years.

The first thing I resolved was I would not waste time and my limited cash trawling pubs and bars in search of love. I recall my initial forays into pubs and clubs looking for unattached females. Rather than the liberated cultured career women I was expecting to meet I encountered a strange race of coarse, tattooed, foul mouthed creatures, smoking cursing and binge drinking like soviet submariners on shore leave.

An alternative setting could be libraries, shopping malls or even supermarkets. I am an inveterate flirt and can always engineer an excuse to strike up a conversation with a woman. But in the prevailing PC environment in the UK, if you smile at a woman in a public place she is more than likely to summon a constable for your arrest

It was with an open mind I returned to ubiquitous internet and the dating sites.

A cursory inspection of the best known dating sites such as Dating direct, Match dot com etc reminded me why I had previously given up on them in despair. The feminist inspired sense of entitlement and self importance displayed in most of the female profiles beggared belief. The other overriding impression I get is that most English men and women hate each other

In the past BKKSW has good naturedly teased me that blokes like me who complain about western women are social misfits that have failed to keep pace with the changes in society. Our failures to attract western women are the result of our own inadequacies and lack of social skills. He delivered this in his own inimitable tongue in cheek style but I can accept there is certainly some truth in his contention. There is no doubt however that western womanhood has changed beyond recognition in the past 10 years.

They have no idea what they actually want but they want it now irrespective that they probably would not want it when they actually get it.

I was recently enlightened by an English lady friend about the reality of English dating sites and the errors I had made in the past. I had mistakenly thought if one sent a series of fascinating correspondence you would slowly build up a relationship and the lady would finally agree to a date. I was completely wrong; women are considerably more predatory than that. Dating sites are “as it says on the tin” for dating and not encounter groups or a pen pal society.

Women make the decisions on the men they fancy solely on the physical attractiveness of the photos on his profile. They then send him a message of introduction. If they get a reply (irrespective of its literary merit) a date is suggested. Women have a perception of their own value on a scale of 1 to 10; if they have a discernable waistline irrespective of their facial features they consider they are automatically an 8. This determines the calibre of chap they will search for. For example if they discern themselves as an 8 they can seek guys they rate as 8 and up to 8 years younger than themselves.  The grading is principally on their concept of the guy’s physical attractiveness although certain occupations or evidence of a substantial income will elevate a man with a rating of 4 up to an 8 with very little compunction.

Knowing this has saved me fruitless hours composing fascinating correspondence.

When perusing the profiles on these sites I found it did not take long for my interest in English women to wane and once again I started looking for Asian girls despite my recent experience. I have concluded my jasmine fever is incurable I am just naturally attracted to Asian women.

There is an American dating site new to the UK called eHarmony which claims a fresh approach to dating based on pre-screening to match for compatibility and shared values. The sales pitch certainly created a great expectation. I spent 30 minutes completing the detailed questionnaire in eager anticipation that I would find a pretty educated Thai or Asian girl with a penchant for short ageing Englishmen. She would be scrupulously honest, with her own income (and preferably an orphan with no family to support) who lives just around the corner within walking distance of my apartment.

Instead they sent a reply “Sorry we can not find ANYONE compatible with you.”

I was devastated. With my self confidence in an already fragile condition they may as well sent me a letter “Dear sad old tosser, have you considered employment as a Quasimodo look alike?” I have since found the thought of being refused by a dating site highly amusing.  It certainly confirmed the opinion that one or two people have of me.

I rejoined Thai love links in the search for a UK based Thai female but quickly realised that most of the Thai females that are resident in the UK live in the London area, in fact anywhere but Birmingham and the West Midlands. That should tell me something about the absence of any attraction in living in the midlands. I am beginning to sense that the area is becoming a third world rust belt.

A travel writer described Birmingham as Britain’s third largest city, a cultural wasteland populated entirely by degenerates with a hideous accent devoid of hope….and all the streets smell of urine.

He was quite wrong; Birmingham is Britain’s second largest city.

I remain ambivalent about Thai love links. The Thai girls who have lived in the UK for any time quickly adopt the worst characteristics of their western sisters and it is very rare to receive ... to be continued

brokenman.com
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What's expat life really like after the initial sparkle starts to fade away, How did I make a life for myself here in Thailand, what made the final decision. i think most of us that took the plunge to pack eveything up, your whole life in just a couple of suitcases, we wanted something more from our lives than friday night down the pub with your mates and two weeks paid holiday a year. leaving your family and starting a new life, aint that easy, but the the adventure of it all, the difference in lifestyle, a whole new world was just about to start.

like everyone you will have ups n downs, the sparkle might fade at times, but then tomorrow is a different day. i think attitude counts and problems you have to look at from the other persons view as well as your own. not understanding the language when you first arrive in Thailand is like being a child you need someone to explain everything to you, but thats all part n parcel of the game. coming to a country where you don't speak the language, lonely, no friends, not a single soul in the world when you walk off the plane, just your partner a welcome site smiling to greet you at the airport. because you know nothing or nobody here, you have to confide in her, which can be taken as an advantage with someone who is not 100% true. Becoming part of another culture is quite an unique experience.

OK Does being an expat keep you younger, silly question really
Starting over again even some at the age of 70 you feel young as you are still learning, something new, at the same time your also discovering more of yourself. what you are giving up, in return you are gaining in your life experience and adventure. as time goes by what your missing you will soon forget. the worst thing is comparing where you come from to where you are now, moaning i think its called.
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General Discussions / Re: Tripadvisor - Paetonnam Restaurant
« Last post by thaiga on Today at 05:23:09 PM »
Paetonnam Restaurant

Wonder what the real fake is the D/M or Tripadvisor or both. now here is a great funtime restaurant to take your thai family, might be better if they take you as its Thai style all the way, well we are in Thailand, so why not, The Paetonnam Restaurant known localy as The Raft. you can go for a swim or just dangle on an old car tyre, swing till your hearts content, must say the fish looks great. has takeout, and free wifi. strike up a fire keep the mossies off. bloat and float out on a raft, better take ur cossie, after all, you dont want to frighten any one.



open 7 days a week 11:00 AM - 3:00 PM
location 80/2 Moo 1, near Khanong Phra Sub-District Administration Organization , Thanarat Rd., Khanong Phra Sub-District, Pak Chong District, Nakhon Ratchasima 30130, Thailand +66 81 801 5962

Video here facebook.com


Reviews in Th. tripadvisor.com
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Does being an expat keep you younger in spirit and ambition?

At first it might be the other way round: people are daring to leave their home soil, because they're still young in spirit and ambition. Question is rather, do people now burn all bridges behind them and become pure expats, just substitute one place with another, because they're still young in spirit and ambition, or have they given up already like those who grew up in the village they were born and where they've lived  all their lives and now watch the grass grow?

When I left Germany for another country to live, I always kept the option of returning without problems. I didn't sell my condo, but just rented it out, even if that meant the trouble of watching over things from afar. Now I could easily change Thailand for another place, I have more than one option: I don't have to start from scratch anywhere else I go. That enables me to arrange my life a little riskier, still have spirit and ambitions. When you got no other options left, you don't need ambitions, either! You got to make the best of what you already have; spirit and ambitions of alternatives are out of place now.
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Expat News / Does being an expat keep you younger in spirit and ambition?
« Last post by thaiga on Today at 01:54:46 PM »
Does being an expat keep you younger in spirit and ambition?



I was watching a UK TV show recently that was about changing peoples houses and lifestyles. One guy, who was 42 years old which is my age, said he shocked himself that he was able to change his house design so much “you know, given the stage of life I am at“. It stopped me in my tracks, what does he mean ‘at his stage of life‘?

Is life really all mapped out at 42 years old?

I then started to think about all my peers back in the UK and even searched a few on Facebook for research purposes. How were they living their lives and was ’42’ deemed an age where your life is now mapped out for good? Sadly, in 95% of cases it looked just so. Everyone content with their lot in life and now seemingly lost of any real ambition. Happy to go to work Monday to Friday, enjoy a beer at the weekend and put the kids through schooling. That kind of thing.

I was also back in the UK last year and I stayed with my younger brother at his house in Whitstable. I asked him about his plans for the future. He is 38 years old. He said he had no plans and was happy with his home and job, and would look forward to a couple of holidays each year. Again, I was shocked. There is so much magic and opportunity to experience different things in this world that to stay in a relative bubble like this confuses me. Why not strive to live multiple chapters rather than one fairly predictable one that I see time and time again by my peers back home?

Maybe I am wrong, but I could only draw conclusion that being so institutionalized by societies cultural expectations in the UK – or for that matter any other Western worlds – sucks the ambition out of individuals as they get older. They get so burdened with paying off the mortgage, maybe clearing a credit card debt, buying a new car and then putting their children through schooling that they lose sight of the bigger picture available to them.

On reflection, I feel relieved I escaped my domestic country now

I breathe a big sigh of relief that I escaped this at a relatively early age – 29 years old – as I could have conceded defeat on a really great life and missed out on doing so much.

Going back to this 42 year old on TV saying ‘at his stage of life‘ he was surprised he could decorate his home so differently, here I am in Thailand still dreaming and striving for new experiences and wealth. I have still not given up on owning a football club one day either!

I am still passionate about trying and investing in new business ventures. It is fun, stimulating and comes with a big prize if I get it right. As a fellow entrepreneur quoted “It doesn’t matter how many times you fail, you only have to get it right once”. I get up inspired and motivated each day. My day to day job is varied, progressive, deeply rewarding and interesting – and as a result life is never dull.

I live in a large condo in a tropical country, yet am about to relocate to another area of Thailand into a luxury pool villa – such is my vigour for change. Life can offer and be so rewarding because I never let life stand still or take control of me. I think being an expat helps galvanize and encourage this free spirit.

So, why for my peers back in the UK does their life become so predictable and – in my eyes at least – dull?

I am grateful for escaping my domestic country because as an expat you can act more freely and act an individual. There is no cultural expectation being an expat, you are allowed to develop and be your own person.

Maybe I have got it wrong, but what other feasible rationale can there be? Being an expat helps keep you younger in spirit and ambitious – and keeps you away from the clasps of Western societies shackles.

danaboutthailand.com
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General Discussions / Re: Tripadvisor
« Last post by thaiga on Today at 01:31:49 PM »
there on the case

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General Discussions / Re: Tripadvisor
« Last post by surbition on Today at 01:06:00 PM »
fake chickens,i thought so ;D
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General Discussions / Re: Finding a Wife or Girlfriend - Sunday’s Seven’s top 10 tips
« Last post by surbition on Today at 01:00:55 PM »
Wednesbury (wenzbry if you’re a chav). it is the pits. Once a home to the affluent business owners who gained riches from the pits. no source of income now since the mines no longer exist. it was declared by the government as one of the top five most deprived areas in the country. home to the single teen moms, drug addicts and petty criminals. I have heard the saying out the frying pan into the fire, nat come out of the wok into the frying pan. rolf rolf

tamun tun i cannot find where i left off,nans column.
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Thailand News / Bangkok’s treasure divers (Video)
« Last post by Newsy on Today at 11:01:53 AM »
Bangkok’s treasure divers

A community of divers in Bangkok makes a living by retrieving old coins, china, jewelry and scrap metal from the city's Chao Phraya River. Sometimes they even find skulls and skeletons. Even though diving for these sunken treasures earns them just a few dollars a day, they are always hopeful for a rare find



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World News / HK-China high-speed train debuts
« Last post by Newsy on Today at 10:58:09 AM »
Hong Kong's first high speed railway


bangkokpost.com

HK-China high-speed train debuts

Hong Kong on Saturday opened a new high-speed rail link to mainland China that will vastly decrease travel times but also raises concerns about Beijing’s creeping influence over the semi-autonomous territory.

Costing upward of US$10 billion and taking more than eight years to build, the system aims to transport more than 80,000 passengers daily between the financial centre of 7 million people and the neighbouring manufacturing hub of Guangdong province.

The train travels the 26 kilometres through Hong Kong to Shenzhen across the border in China in just 14 minutes, down from about one hour currently. The through-train to Guangzhou will take just over half an hour, about 90 minutes faster than the current service.

Once across the border, passengers can link up with China’s sprawling nationwide high-speed rail network serving more than 44 destinations, including Shanghai, Beijing and the western city of Xi’an.

Passengers will clear Chinese immigration at the line’s newly built West Kowloon terminus, the source of major legal controversy when it was revealed that mainland Chinese law would apply within roughly one-quarter of the station’s area.

Some opposition lawmakers argued the move would be a violation of the Basic Law, Hong Kong’s mini-constitution under which it retained its own legal system and civil liberties after reverting from British to Chinese rule in 1997. That guarantees Hong Kong the right to maintain rights such as freedom of speech and assembly — which are routinely violated on the mainland — until 2047. Legal matters related to defence, foreign affairs and national security fall under Beijing’s purview.

However, Beijing’s tight control over the territory’s politics and a continuing crackdown on politicians calling for greater economy and democratic reforms have spurred worries about an erosion of Hong Kong’s remaining autonomy.

The Hong Kong legislature’s passage in June of the plan to allow Chinese law to apply at the railway terminus was a significant moment for the opposition, coming four years after mass street protests demanding reforms fizzled out amid Beijing’s intransigence. Pro-democracy legislators have been expelled and charges brought against more than 100 protesters.

Supporters of the provision, including the territory’s Beijing-backed Chief Executive Carrie Lam, defended it as promoting speed and convenience.
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