Author Topic: You reddit here  (Read 1689 times)

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Offline thaiga

You reddit here
« on: December 18, 2017, 03:02:11 PM »
Time for another reddit.com. post. I would say this guy is paranoid, but he wants some advice on Handling disrespect. I would change your attitude geezer, Does he want everyone he meets to smile and give a wai. paranoid and over-sensitive,imagination.

Handling disrespect

I've lived here for 2 months now in South Bangkok in an area that is at least for 2 miles radius from my apartment completely foreigner-free. I think they are much more authentic to me here because I'm so isolated. Anyways, to the point, I could use some input dealing with this stuff. What should I do in common disrespectful situations?

-Staff not greeting or acknowledging me when entering a place or approaching counter (Or just a short, insincere krup after i finally say sawadikrup): Should I ignore it, how big of a deal is it and how do I confront properly. They don't do that to other Thai.

-NEVER saying krup/ka end of sentence to me when talking to me. Yet I say it every sentence, which I'm this close to dropping. How to react properly or confront?

-Them placing their hand on your leg or your shoulder or are poking you or grabbing your arm while talking: What does it mean and whats the proper response? I think it's a dominating thing, it's not a gay thing for sure. I always peel their hand off me but should I be flipping out?

-At places when a small group of people (usually restaurant staff) are talking together, taking turns looking at me and are laughing and giggling....? Not the cute, shy kind of laughing.

-When they type in the amount to pay on a calc and show me, after I had just been speaking Thai with them the whole conversation, instead of saying amount in Thai....? -After speaking some broken Thai to someone, they always either start talking fast as hell or they correct my pronounciation very loud and exagerated so everyone around laughs. Are both these responses meant to be disrespectful? I think so, if it was some foreigner on his 2nd month learning English I would NEVER do that shit to them.

Also just outright laughing to my face when I don't say something in Thai EXACTLY correctly.

-Oh and forget about the wai's, haven't seen one of those since I stopped initiating them 1.5 months ago

Thanks for the advice, wouldn't be able to get an honest answer to these questions out of a local!

comment Nick_Deedle
Yeah, as recommended, find some chill within yourself and don’t worry about this stuff. If they are being disrespectful, which I doubt, it would be no wonder if you roll with this attitude all the time.

Do you really expect everyone who passes you to greet you? Perhaps in North America, you expect a level of service in retail/restaurant but man I stopped expecting it within a week. It’s just different here.

Stop worrying about krap.

People sometimes touch you here. Just how it is. Ask my young blond kids. Deal with it. But “peeling” their hands off is likely fairly disrespectful.

It’s been 2 months and you’re still worried when you see them staring saying “falang falang...”? Chill man!

The calculator thing, just how they do it. It’s lowest common denominator. Only a few farang will understand so rather than decide if they’ll say it in thai, they just show the calculator. No risk of misunderstanding, saves them time.

The laughing and correcting thing happens sometimes. Say it pretty well, they don’t understand, then they figure it out and laugh at you while saying it over and over again with the right inflection. Yeah it’s like, uh wtf, but again, chill, and I ask them to repeat a few times and then say it until they tell me I’m saying it right. Use it to improve.

Also, have you noticed thai people wai each other in normal day to day interactions? You just look like a knob if you wai at everyone. I save it now for formal/respectful greetings like landlords or elderly or whatever.

Moral of the story, seems you’re the issue here and it’s not too late to find your chill and roll with it. You’re the visitor. Sometimes things are uncomfortable and they’re often different. Embrace that and resist less, and you may find yourself less miserable.

more comments here: reddit.com
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Offline thaiga

Re: You reddit here - How much should I give for dowry?
« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2018, 04:49:05 PM »
It's Reddit time, c'mon help this guy out, he lives in America with his wife to be, so should he pay a dowry, if so how much. tradition where he lives the girls father should foot the bill. But he goes on to say: Well we aren't planning to have a wedding at all. She doesn't have a dad.

How much should I give for dowry?

So I'm planning on marrying my gf who lives with me here in the US. We met in Bangkok and she decided to move here to live with me a few years ago.
I'll be proposing to her in a few months and upon doing some research I came across this idea of a Thai Dowry which I've never heard of before.
I'm supposed to give her mom some money apparently.

Googling tells me I should give her mom between 100k baht and 1,000,000 baht. Pretty huge difference there. Honestly I can afford the higher end of that spectrum, but would rather use it on a nice ring and the proposal (I am planning a surprise trip to South Africa to ask the big question).

Can someone let me know what would be considered respectable? I've never met her mom and she doesn't speak English but she seems pretty nice the few times my gf let me say "hi" on facetime. Lol

tl;dr how much should I give my gf's mom in dowry so she doesn't think I'm an ?

Comment from shakakoz
Here’s what I did. I had no one to negotiate on my behalf (similar to you maybe), so I talked to my wife. At first, she was mentioning ridiculous sums of money. Her father was the village headman, and both she and her sister were university graduates. The money seemed to go up every time we talked about it, until it was hovering near the 750k mark.

That’s when I said no. On the basis that I did not have that much cash, and saving/borrowing it might induce a hardship, I simply refused. It didn’t go well at first, and she insisted that “I had to”. I pointed out that I had been sending her money every month as evidence of my commitment, and that I understood that she would have to support her father in the future.

In the end, I remained firm in my rejections of amounts that I felt I couldn’t afford. I wouldn’t say it was so much a negotiation, as a compromise, but we agreed that any money I paid would not be returned, and would instead go towards our wedding. So, feeding everyone at the wedding ceremony, gifts for the monks, gold, and the wedding reception, where we had about 250 guests. All told, it was about 300k.

It was actually pretty cool. One of the biggest expenses was alcohol (and accoutrements), but we also had two photographers who followed us for 18 hours that day paparazzi style, and someone brought an elephant. One of the most important moments for me was when our cousin/neighbour/Police-colonel-wife wrote a (non-negotiable) cheque on my behalf for 1,000,000 baht as a symbol of the support I had already given my wife, which was presented with the sin sot. It was the first time that I felt that one of the villagers was sort of on my side in all of this.

I felt the money was well spent. I was happy to spend this money on my own wedding, and given the scale of the wedding I felt it was somewhat of a bargain. My original fear was that I would have to pay for the wedding, and then be surprised at the last minute for a demand for additional sin sot. Working out these details ahead of time avoided that.

Having said all of that, if your GF hasn’t brought up the dowry, maybe you shouldnt either. Many modern Thais see the sin sot as being an anachronism that has no place in our society. Like /u/yeahbutwhytho says, consider spending the money on yourselves. If not a honeymoon, maybe it could go towards a down payment on a home.

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Offline thaiga

Re: You reddit here - Do Thais hate it when white people date their women?
« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2018, 04:08:37 PM »
are you ready for another reddit article, yea bring it on, interesting one this and of course they have to mention isaan women, Do Thais hate it when white people date their women, that would depend on who your asking, a wealthy hi so thai from the city or a farmer in the back end of isaan, your not likely to get the same answer ::)

Do Thais hate it when white people date their women?

Here's the comments, more in the link below

Vovicon
There are a lot of different answers, and a lot of downvotes in this thread... because there's actually not a universal answer to that question.

There are too many combinations to be able to give a straight out answer:

Some thais will see 'Farangs' as a very uniform block while others will differentiate between 'working expats', 'retired expats', 'tourists', 'volunteers', etc...   Some thais will feel differently depending on where the Thai woman is from, or what's her situation (age, kids, marriage, education, ...)

You combine all of this and you'll get wildly diffrent answers and feelings depending on the case. For example a well educated upper middle class thai woman married with a relatively good looking farang will be seen by many as a good example. On the other hand, a middle aged Isaan woman marrying a retired german guy will meet very different approval whether you ask some middle class Bangkokians or some Isaan farmers.

In short, there is no universal or widespread dislike of 'white men' dating thai women, but there are cases where it isn't seen positively.

umich79
will differentiate between 'working expats', 'retired expats', 'tourists', 'volunteers', etc
Some even get as particular as what a foreigner does as a profession.

permalinkembedsaveparent
Thais are very conscious about social class. One's profession largely determines their social class. No surprises here.
In most other countries, people also judge a doctor differently than a construction worker... In most other countries, people also judge a doctor differently than a construction worker...

But in America for example it wouldnt be shocking to hear about a female doctor/lawyer etc married to a male that is a blue collar worker (usually the more skilled variety) or other profession that earns less money. Its not super common but not unheard of either.
a middle aged Isaan woman marrying a retired german guy will meet very different approval whether you ask some middle class Bangkokians or some Isaan farmers.

Would it really though? Anymore than how much her lower poor/issaan status already bestows upon her? What is a poor isaan farmer expected of anyway, it seems marrying for money is the expectation and not the ruler breaker. So if anything, I reckon a middle-upper class woman (or man) marrying a poor retiree is what would see disapproval (from peers and just anyone else who would question her judgement and newly bestowed upon lower status).

more comments reddit.com
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Offline thaiga

Re: You reddit here - There's poop on your bum gun dude
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2018, 09:00:03 PM »
Had to laugh at this reddit.com article where the guy posts, There's poop on your bum gun dude. could be rust of course. Trigger discipline is the key. most comments are about, Clean your poopy gun. Here's just a few of the funny comments he got, more in the link below.

I'm just another Farang living here in Thailand (10+ yrs now). These sprayers have ruined me from ever using TP again. When I go back home, I need baby wipes just to wipe my bum other wise it hurts like a... I am all water these days, haven't used TP for over 7 years. Did this happen to anyone else?



ThongLo
There's poop on your bum gun dude.

beyourHuckleburry
Oh God I laughed so hard at this..

rollawaythedew2
Naah. That's just rust that smells.

Skhull
omg I fell out of my chair laughing and laughed until I cried at this comment.

Mobilemilestone
Quick tip for anyone that tries one for the first time... test the water pressure first before you go giving yourself a full blast squirt. Some of them aren't like a shower head and just blow a very hard solid stream of water.

umich79Bangkok
Trigger discipline is key...some butt guns are set to strip paint..pro-tip, you can control the flow of water by adjusting the nozzle usually located where the gun hose and feed pipes meet (I know it's obvious, but I've had to show multiple people this when helping them move into new apartments).

reddit.com
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Online Taman Tun

Re: You reddit here
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2018, 03:06:16 PM »
The worst ones are on the buses BKK to Korat. You only get a trickle. A back-up supply of paper is needed.
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out. Churchill
 

Offline thaiga

Re: You reddit here
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2018, 05:57:33 PM »
WOT! not even a trickle
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Offline thaiga

Re: You reddit here - Why dont Thai women like silver?
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2018, 04:22:36 PM »
Why don't Thai women like silver? - is that cisco the kids horse  ::)  Oh! dear they are still pumping out the same old garbage on isaan women, i wonder sometimes have they ever been to thailand or even met a nice isaan girl. As one comment reads, if they are a bar girl or issan girl who only want money from a farang they will insist on gold, its simply a way of holding cash and when your gone they will sell it.

Why dont Thai women like silver?

How to get the devil stair. Just suggest getting a silver neckless for your Thai lovely. I'm a big fan of silver over gold. No matter how much you try and explain you aren't taking the p*ss they just think you are cheap! This could be a good test to see if she is just in it for the money or in this case the gold.

comments
cowp13
Silver has no value in Thai culture and why'd you get something for your gf that she sees as worthless? You get her something to make her happy (not you but her). This is true in any country and not just Thailand. If gold is too expensive then take her out to a nice dinner. That'll be more meaningful than silver and probably cheaper.

eldeedl
thai women do like worthless jewellery that has a sentimental value. however if they are a bar girl or issan girl who only want money from a farang, they will insist on gold, because giving someone a thai gold ring or necklace is the same as giving them cash or a gift card for cash, the gold necklace or ring holds no sentimental value at all to them, its simply a way of holding cash and when your gone they will sell it

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Offline thaiga

Re: You reddit here - this is how I imagine Americans have breakfast
« Reply #7 on: February 21, 2018, 09:45:49 PM »
Guess where all this talk about breakfast come from, Yes reddit.com you'll find more odd comments in the link below

As a European this is how I imagine Americans have breakfast

TAU_equals_2PI 2184
The salad gun goes on the left side of the plate, not the right side.
(And in case you Europeans are wondering, the salad gun is for shooting yourself if there's nothing to eat but salad.)

docnar
Remember, wheel guns are for formal events, and semi auto's are for business meetings.

louismagoo[
If it was really the "Full American" it would have a Colt 1911 not a german designed Sig.

Stormtrooper
Call me old fashioned, but I love to eat my daily bacon pile with a decent 12ga. pump action shotgun.

Erob90
I hear ya. I'm more of a S&W Model 29 guy, unless it's Sunday morning then nothing beats the combo of fresh brewed coffee and a Winchester

loads more comments here reddit.com


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Offline thaiga

Re: You reddit here - What do you love or dislike most about Thailand?
« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2018, 01:37:06 PM »
What do you love or dislike most about Thailand?

Interested to know what people’s opinions are, I was brought up and lived in Thailand for almost 10 years so I’d love to know what people either love or hate about the country in general. (comments below)

Unglossed
Love: You can more or less do whatever you want within reason and no one bothers you. People are generally friendly. Daily life is easy unless you’re actually trying to accomplish something important.

Hate: The imbeciles on the road and the risks they take, uncertain immigration policy, the stench, pollution, being told “mai mee” when I know god darn good and well they have it, every person who works at HomePro.

LordFelcher
Homepro: The key is locating the two people out of the 150 floor employees who know the location of everything and what it is for. The others merely exist either to lead you to those two employees, just stand around while looking up from their phones to greet you as you pass by, or say ไม่มี “mai mee”.

BahtFuqr
I like the women. I dislike all the other foreigners making me less hamsum. Then again I spend more money than most of them so I regain some hamsumness there.

more interesting comments: reddit.com
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Offline thaiga

Guy on reddit.com wants to know why some people live in Thailand when they don't like it here, good question, as a lot of expats don't stop moaning about the place. moaning about a place that you chose to live/retire for the rest of your life, is like admitting that you made a mistake by coming here in the first place, as one post on this forum states, it's like pooping in your own nest. but there again the moaners might be the same anywhere.
This is Thailand don't try and fight it, you won't change a thing, this is what you get, make the most of it. speech ended   :wai


People who live in or visit Thailand but don't like it or don't like the people, or both - Why do you continue to visit or live here?

This is not a statement, it's a genuine question. Every country has its faults, certainly some more than others, but there seems to be a not insignificant population of forum dwellers in Thailand who cannot find anything nice to say about the place and/or people. I am seriously curious as to the reason(s) why they stay here, or continue to visit.

/I do not believe there is no place for criticism or nothing to dislike here. I am referring to those who have a knee-jerk negative response to anything Thai related. If you have spent any time here or on Thai Visa (May God forgive you) you know what I am talking about. The kind of people who would find something bad to say even if a Thai invented a cure for cancer.

comments below

Sneaky_SOB 12
I think many expats like myself come with rose tinted glasses. They see an idilic easy going lifestyle in Thailand with never ending adventures and beautiful women. However, once they have lived in the Kingdom a few years their glasses clear up and Thailand becomes a love hate relationship that they have invested too much into to leave. However few really want to leave despite Thailand's chaotic and corrupt culture.

Unglossed
I have a love / hate relationship with Thailand.

How I feel about it depends on what’s happening at the moment, and that changes many times throughout the day.

But when it’s good, it’s GREAT!!! As long as the great outweighs the bad, I’ll stay.

However, one thing that I’ve noticed that I don’t like is how indifferent I’ve become. I’ve seen so many awful deaths on the road, that now when I see a brain smashed on the road it doesn’t phase me. Disfigured beggars, desperate and wretched people, I just don’t care anymore. I literally watched a head get smashed by a truck a few weeks ago and I didn’t even stop or mention to anyone that I saw it. It was just another head, no big deal. And I don’t like that. I’ve come to accept corruption and incompetence as part of life and laugh at the idea of asking the police to help me with anything whatsoever. This isn’t a healthy way to think and feel, and I know this, but two decades of being here has left me numb.

MullatoButtz
Wtf? Where are you living that you see so much road carnage? I've been here for nearly six months (commuting 10+ hrs per week on a busy road) and I've only seen one accident, which appeared to be relatively minor. I came here thinking it'd be /r/watchpeopledie irl but I've been disappointed thus far.

SpikeSiam
I think the phrase "your Thailand is not the same as my Thailand" fits this situation quite well. Or simply, I (mostly) truly enjoy living here, however, YMMV.

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Offline Baby Farts

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Re: You reddit here
« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2018, 05:45:11 PM »
Many people are not moaning or complaining at all. They're just stating their experiences and the facts. Doesnt mean they dislike Thailand and its people. You can't really tell how someone is saying something or how they are feeling by posts and emails.  Words like moaning and complaining are typically used by those to describe people who may simply just be stating something...like facts, something many people, especially Thais, don't want to hear. Therefore, the typical response is going to be.

A. You can go home if you don't like it here.
B. You don't understand Thai culture (like driving recklessly, throwing water in people's faces on song Kran, etc, has anything to do with culture.)
C. Nevermind. Mai pen rai.

When people retreat into one of the scriptures above, it usually means you won the arguement.

That being said. If you REALLY want to see some real moaning and complaining and not stuff written on the Internet, then just go down and hang out at any of the expat watering holes. You can sit there and listen to some REAL bitching from all walks of life, especially from some of the teachers.
 

Offline thaiga

Re: You reddit here - Thai people love owning new cars so much
« Reply #11 on: May 20, 2018, 04:55:55 PM »
interesting post on reddit, Thai people love owning new cars so much, infact they spend more on their cars as on their home, the logic being they can go anywhere with their new red plate, for people to see, but they can't drag their condo around the same ::) is it all a status symbol, nah it's so easy to get a credit.

TIL new cars cost more than new condos in Thailand and yet Thailand has the highest car ownership to income ratio

Thailand_Throwaway
Cars are a status symbol in Thailand, especially Bangkok, and people love status symbols.

Gold, handbags, smartphones, designer clothing, mistresses, etc. It's all just different levels of status symbols and for most people. Cars are sort of the best status symbol that most regular people can attain.

Not many people ever see your condo, so why not spend most of your money on a car to drive around and show off to your friends. Plus it seems almost anyone can get a long term loan in Thailand, so it's possible to spread out 1.5 million baht over 7-10 years, although it probably isn't a wise financial decision...

mjmilian
Very true. I lived in 4k a month 25 sqm apartment while between jobs, and there were brand new cars in the car park, even BMWs and Mercedes.

When i asked how they afford such cars, but have such crappy apartments, my girlfriend explained it just as you have.

Gish21
Many people will also have a real home somewhere in the provinces, and just use the cheap 4k studio to be near work. No sense wasting money on rent when you have a real home somewhere else.

apemomscwtf
Used car market here is pretty big. Those merc and BMW price drop pretty significantly if you get them second hand. They are not as expensive as it seems.

baddev
In my experience cars hold their value considerably better here than in the UK. When my wife told me she wanted 50k for her knacked old car that I would have just scrapped I laughed and then she ended up selling it for 80k.

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Offline thaiga

Re: You reddit here - How has Thailand changed you
« Reply #12 on: May 25, 2018, 01:54:33 PM »
How has Thailand changed you?

Honestly, traveling and living in a new country opened my eyes to a lot of things, and I am a much more aware of poverty, propaganda (my own countries too), social issues, and my mindset is more global in nature. I am really thankful for being able to live here. Seeing the people and their different ways of thinking and living has been a real blessing. I feel that Thai people have helped me be a more positive person overall.

However, I feel Thailand has really changed me for worse as well. Now, this isn't Thailand's fault, but mine alone since I made all of these decisions with my own freewill. You guys might know what I am talking about here, but it is the sheer availability of the girls and services that they provide. I would have never seen myself as someone who sneaks around and to meet other girls (paid and unpaid) and lie my ass off to those I love. I would have never done any of this back home, but here in Thailand my ego has turned me into something I don't recognize. I feel like I am a bad person, and that I have always been a bad person, and that Thailand simply gave me the opportunity to let this darkness out.

What about you guys? How has Thailand changed you?

comments

hobblingcontractor
I'm now an alcoholic that accepts wearing elephant pants, thongs, and a Chang singlet as evening wear.

provied
I'm getting more confident crossing the street when there's no crosswalk - or a red traffic light.
I live in Germany, so this is a big deal!

jonez450reloaded
crossing the street when there's no crosswalk - or a red traffic light.
The harder challenge is crossing the street when there is a crosswalk and a red light knowing that most people ignore them.

chiangraiguy
To start I am now Bilingual. I keep up with my personal appearance much more. Much more cool headed then before, I'm always looking to avoid confrontation and if there is a problem or an issue I usually just smile and move on instead of instigating conflict. THE BIGGEST improvement I saw in my self was respect and general manners. I am now aware of Thai social hierarchy so I have much more respect for my elders.
I guess you could say I'm more stingy too because I rarely ever tip anymore

funkidredd
Used to be a hot headed dick behind a wheel, but living and driving daily in Thailand has made me legit chill af now when I'm back driving in the west.

loganhudak
Thailand made me realize how happy I can be with warm weather a warm ocean nearby and cheap ass Singha beer. I’ll retire there 100%

more comments like   ;D Living in Thailand taught me to smile by default ;D  here reddit.com
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Offline thaiga

Re: You reddit here - Living in Bangkok - Avoiding temptation
« Reply #13 on: May 31, 2018, 12:56:30 PM »
Probably one of the most interesting subjects we've had in this thread, coming to Thailand to work and bringing your wife with you, not a good idea if your not getting on to well, as for some the temptation of "you know what" might get the better of you, if she is the jealous type, err watch out :-[
If your qualified for the job i would think you could earn more money back home, dragging your family half way round the world, is that a good idea


Living in Bangkok - Avoiding temptation [Serious]

Hi, throwaway account here.

I have been travelling to Thailand through work placements for nearly 5 years now and spent a large amount of time both living and working in the city. I have now been offered a permanent position (Financial Sector) and it would mean bringing my wife and children over full-time.

There is obviously issues around schooling, healthcare etc which can be addressed using resources at my place of work. One other concern that is slightly more sensitive is the subject of infidelity, temptation, not straying and generally leading a normal family life.

I am not asking for judgement here, nor am I planning anything. I am however, well aware of the availability of young, willing and good looking woman on an almost relentless basis and the temptation that this brings. As someone in there early 30s, decent looking, in-shape and relatively wealthy I am at odds on how I can stay faithfully to my family in a city that offers so much in the way of carnal comfort.

Things haven't been great recently with my spouse, and on a recent work-trip to Bangkok I was propositioned by both a 'pretty' and a senior lawyer at a conference that I was presenting at. I was of course tempted but declined the invitations. It did however reinforce my concerns of what is likely to come.

My question is, and I would appreciate serious answers only, how does one avoid these situations? I am well aware of the full 'mia noi' culture in Thailand and the underlying acceptance that men straying is an unspoken part of Thai culture. How do Western men (and woman) therefore maintain a normal, healthy, family unit as they would in the west?

I appreciate your responses.

comments:
]oonnnn
I obviously have absolutely no clue what a wealthy foreigner would face here in my home country but just a little thing from a humble local man.
Let me be clear on one thing first. Not every Thais are okay with a concept of 'mia noi', for me, it's far from acceptable.

My relationship is now a long distance one, where I'm here in BKK and the girlfriend is working abroad. I try to live as boring as a life can be and I can both save money and to stay away from all the troubles. Play video games, wear crappiest things as possible, drink at home, go out only with close friends (all male of course), work my arse off without obvious reason. Being antisocial is my game.

I find Buddhism practice to be very helpful for me. Mind you, I don't go to temple to make merit or give money and all those nonsense. I practice meditation at home and take the Buddha's teachings as true as my life can.

It's been almost 5 years and I'll marry my girlfriend as soon as she can find a work here.
If you have additional questions or just want to talk, PM me any time.

JustExcuse
It seems like you have achieved focus in life. Kudos to you for that.
Appreciate the response.

oonnnn
A concept of “ผ้าขี้ริ้วห่อทอง” (= a gold bar wrapped in a dirty cloth) seems to keep women away. Like I said, act and look cheap. People always judge a book by its cover.

BeerHorse
I am at odds on how I can stay faithfully to my family in a city that offers so much in the way of carnal comfort.
The same way you do anywhere else.

My question is, and I would appreciate serious answers only, how does one avoid these situations?
By not sleeping with other women. It's not rocket surgery.

fortruth
It's good you're asking because it shows you care about your spouse and the impact Bangkok could have on your relationship. I judge you in a positive light for that. You are also acknowledging human fallibility up front, which hopefully means you have a decent head on your shoulders. So it is in this light that I pass on to you a grave warning.

 Bangkok is the place relationships go to die.

You're worried and you should be. If your relationship is on the rocks, thinking moving here will improve it is asinine. I've done a lot of divorce work here and it ain't pretty. Especially with kids involved. Really sad, sad work.

Any even slight jealousy you experienced at home will be magnified here by several orders of magnitude. So you better be good and be open to inspection to prove it at all times. Even then - you are very likely to be accused, whether or not you're guilty.

Bangkok is really difficult for a non-native spouse.

EDIT: So I am telling you you cannot avoid it, you can only manage it and work to minimize it. But if you have any sort of social life outside of what you and your wife do together, you will be subject to all kinds of temptations. If you are not good at setting boundaries for yourself, you're in big trouble because no one will set them for you and if you make decent coin, you will have very few.

more comments reddit.com
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 

Offline thaiga

Re: You reddit here - Odd encounter with the police last night
« Reply #14 on: June 05, 2018, 12:31:35 AM »
what a muppet this guy is under the influence staggering round an atm machine 2am would cause suspicion any where, you have to read between the lines as the guy deleted his post

Odd encounter with Thai police last night. Warning to people heading to Thailand

[deleted]

PretyLights
Oh shit a cop stopped a drunk guy at 2am??? Holy shit thats crazy. That could only happen in a place that is surely 'risky' and 'has it out for westerners.' Definitely stay out of Thailand. What a dangerous place. Such scams! Good idea to flea to the safe haven that is Cambodia. Please update us on your adventures as you seem to be a seasoned, rational world traveller!

cuttydiamond
What's weird is I've lived in Thailand for almost 4 years and I have not once been hassled by the police and I have never felt like any Thai person has tried to take advantage of me. I mean I've probably over paid for some stuff because of "falang pricing" but that hardly counts.

Grande_Yarbles
Did something else happen to you on the trip? Being questioned by the police and having your stuff searched may suck but it's by no means unusual. That alone doesn't seem like it'd be so traumatic as to make you scared to transit through the airport.

LordFelcher
Awareness of what? That the police stopped and frisked you? You are aware that can happen in others countries, including the US and Europe, right? And it isn't that common here. For background, there have been more than a few European gangs here that scam ATM machines with illegitimate cards. By your own admission you were slightly drunk at 2 am in the morning using an ATM machine. It is quite possible they decided to have a check. Nothing was taken from you and nobody hurt you. I am sure it was not fun, but hardly something to make your average tourist think twice about visiting.

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Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 
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Offline nan

Re: You reddit here
« Reply #15 on: June 05, 2018, 04:47:24 PM »
how can they let post deleted after the guy has comments, most people won't know what the post is about :spin

maybe he'll come here to retire one day and join the rest of the don't know what their on abouts and only happy when they are complaining about the way things are in los  :salute
ignorance does not help your post one bit but it probably says an awful lot about you.
 

Offline thaiga

Re: You reddit here - buying a house with a gf in thailand
« Reply #16 on: August 29, 2018, 09:32:21 PM »
buying a house with a gf in thailand

Hello folks.

I have an interesting question and I'm asking for myself.

Before I even start I want to state a few things:

1 - this question is more suited to Thai visa but that site is toxic af. No thank you. I read similar questions and I think the OP may have went on to commit suicide. R/Thailand has really helped me a lot in the past and I love the community here. I would prefer advice from here.

2 - gf is not a bar girl. She is a Thai with a PhD who I studied with in China. We have been together for over four years and she always pays 50/50. I do trust her.

So. We are thinking of buying a house together. I loathe paying rent as I always think paying it into an asset is just good sense. She agrees. We are however not married and we are planning maybe marrying at a later date. We want her to properly finish her PhD first (she still has the thesis defence and publishing of her papers) and concentrate on becoming an associate professor first before having to deal with arranging a marriage.

We are both in our 30s also for some context.

We live in the countryside and we currently rent a big ass house. Two buildings, 8 bedrooms. It's awesome. On top of this, the dude we rent from is selling for 2.5 million which is pretty reasonable. (we visited similarly priced buildings and we realise we have a bargain)

We are both thinking of putting down half a million each then mortgaging the rest. That way neither of us are super heavily invested. We can both walk away and it wouldn't be the end of the world. But I would still like legal protection if at all possible. So my question is:

Is it possible for non married bf and gf in Thailand to buy a house together? Can I sign a contract or do something to legally protect myself so that if the shit hits the fan we sell and take 50/50 (or 49/51 or whatever the rule is)? Does anyone have any experience with this? I spoke about pre nups before and she is happy with that. She would be happy to also sign a contract meaning we are both equally liable and have joint ownership as it protects us both. (if possible) I can't just piss off and leave her with the mortgage and she can't steal it all in a divorce.

Please, proper advice only. I don't need life advice on marrying Thai people nor do I want to hear how she only wants money or some shit.

Thanks in advance

Edit: just wanted to say, regardless of your advice, the folks here are so much better than the Thai visa folks. Thank you!

Edit 2: comments have been brilliant. Definitely going to show the gf this stuff too and consider if it's worth buying, if it's worth marrying and everything else others have stated. Thank you again r/Thailand

comments

NeverStopGivingUp
When all the legalities are filtered away, this will be her house. If you split, she gets the house. If you can be okay with that and expect nothing else, go for it.

tothemoon2
I do this, it's not for the faint hearted but as long as you can be prepared to leave it all behind, for me it has been the happiest years of my life

tothemoon2
even if you are married you still have the 49% rule, it's literally makes no difference to the property

your_inner_asshole
If you think about it, isn't that the case? Why else do women demand cash and prizes upon divorce? Because they want to be paid for their "time and companionship". Marriage is nothing more than long-term whoring, unless the woman walks away without demanding any of the man's money, but how often does that ever happen? lol

stegg88
Name checks out hahahaha.

dumbgringo
Can you really get a nice house in Thailand for around $60K? What parts of the country offer homes in this price range if there are any?

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Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 

Offline Johnnie F.

Re: Land purchase in GFs name?
« Reply #17 on: August 29, 2018, 09:47:12 PM »
All answers are of the typical know nothing but advise much type.

There was a similar case even here in Korat decided by the court in Korat and upheld by appeal and supreme courts.

Read the whole detailed story Land purchase in GFs name? on korat-info.com.
Fun is the one thing that money can't buy
 

Offline thaiga

Re: You reddit here - Land purchase in GFs name?
« Reply #18 on: August 29, 2018, 10:11:28 PM »
will you stop pumping that forum ;) mr memory man   one of the comments on that thread in korat-info.com. ;D

I wonder what good a usufruct is, when you feel like running far away after you've just made a fool of yourself :-[
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 

Offline thaiga

If you could change one thing about Thailand what would it be?

The level of idiotic bureaucracy is insane. Applying for a visa, for example - I am required to supply (among many other stupid things):my passport,

which contains a photo of me

some more photos of me

and some photos of my passport

Why not just scan my passport? And if it's not my first visa, they already have all of this from last time. Why do they want it again? What do they even do with it all?

I'm picturing a scene like the warehouse at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, with crates stacked with years worth of photocopies of the same passports over and over again.

90-day reporting is Kafkaesque, they actually make people trek across town every 90 days to fill in a form to confirm that they haven't changed their address. Why not just ask them only to report if they move?

I could go on forever but nobody would read it and I already need a drink.

comments
skylive2
And then you have to sign EVERY PAGE

ManandGodandLaw
Longer visas. I have a Type O and have to renew it every year.
My wife's visa for the US is good for 10 years.
Edit: To be sure I'm only complaining since it's the topic of the thread. I'm not about to go telling Thailand how they should run their country. It's not my business.

ManandGodandLaw
Even with the Type O visa I still have to leave every 90 days or do a check in which takes an entire day.

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Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 

 



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