Author Topic: meet the family  (Read 2766 times)

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Offline Johnnie F.

Re: meet the family - Get farang for me
« Reply #30 on: October 18, 2017, 10:21:36 AM »
The biggest problem is, that the elder relatives and friends of the Thai woman try to tell her what she must think and do. Fine, if she is self-conscious enough not to mind their "advice", think and do what she finds best for her relationship. "Noi" (the little one) will always be the undeserving imbecile from the viewpoint of the family.

My wife wasn't supported by the family to go go to school longer than M3, though her teachers even offered to help her with the expenses. She was supposed to marry - a farang of course, since a distant aunt had already been so fortunate. Until one was found, she had to work in a factory. I met that aunt's husband, a retired journalist from Germany and became friends with him. Of course the aunt immediately tried to match me with one of her nieces. She had already matched a few others from the village with her husband's friends successfully. Since the husband played a role in this as well, he kind of tested each of the nieces who kept visiting their house in hope of getting a farang. He talked to me about each of them, about his hesitations, their family etc. I was lucky, that he as a well-educated man could understand so much.

His wife tried really hard to get me interested in her brother's daughter, but my friend was 'tight-lipped" about that girl. My wife, who kept being sent by her mother with presents to my friend's wife, the sister of her sister's husband, got tested by him in a simple way: My friend put her in front of his typewriter and asked her to type her name. Of course she had never seen a typewriter or knew how to use one, but she still managed to type her name in the Roman alphabet; about all the others couldn't develop so much analytic skill.

I married her 27 years ago, when she was 19. I was 36. One of the first things to do then was to get her complete an education: 3 years weekend classes for the MS 6 certificate and then a few years later she did 4 years in weekend classes to get her Bachelor's with honors. The more she advanced in education, the more self-conscious she became and argued with the aunts when they tried to control or influence her in their own interests, what of course in Thai culture she was not supposed to do, being the little niece only.

Analytic skills are the key: you can built up on them. But it's hard to ask a girl that's introduced to you for an in-depth IQ test score first, so you do not get blinded by appearance, behaviour and verbal skills only.  :-[

And yes, my wife was also asked many times to get farangs for her cousins and friends. She knows herself, that this would put high responsibility on us, therefore it is not that easy, and so she doesn't bother me with those requests (anymore). I can understand my friend, why he was so very careful, where he helped or not, and I still appreciate his efforts to remain in control of his wife's relatives' desires to get a farang through him.
Fun is the one thing that money can't buy
 
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Offline thaiga

Re: meet the family
« Reply #31 on: October 18, 2017, 12:37:58 PM »
Thanks for sharing that j/f, very interesting . I agree, The more she advanced in education, the more self-conscious she became
 
it's not the gift but the thought goes with it that counts

Took me a long time to get my wife, to my way of thinking, she would never disagree with her father, up until now, as that is how thai culture is or was in this case.

My wife has always taken care of her parents. which is fine by me, since her mum died she cooks and takes food for her dad every day, buys him little treats at the market. Although he doesn't like me and never speaks that's still no problem as i am pleased to see her take care of him, it's her father.

now he is getting on a bit he has decided to sell 6 rai of land he owns and split the money to his children, but none for my wife as she has money and a farangee meeeeeeee. yet she is the only one that takes care of him. she was so upset, for the first time she spoke back to him about principles, (look like i not daughter you) i was so pleased she spoke back to a guy that has been pushing her around all her life, in my eyes.

he was so shocked he said he would include her in with the rest, what she gets she will give to her children Oh! and me she said  :thankyou
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 

Online Taman Tun

Re: meet the family
« Reply #32 on: October 19, 2017, 12:48:39 PM »
An earlier part of this thread touched upon old folk’s homes.  Yesterday, I was in The Mall (Yes, I confess I do sometimes go into malls) and went to Asia Books where I picked up a copy of The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen 83.25 Years Old.

Hendrik is a Dutch guy living in an old folk’s home and sets about disrupting the good running order of the place together with a like minded reprobate.  In one escapade they use stale cake to poison the fish in the fish tanks which resulted in a visit from Inspector Knacker.

It is a very funny book and worth looking out for.  Interestingly, there is passing reference to the dumping of old folk to homes in Thailand.
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out. Churchill
 

Offline thaiga

Re: meet the family
« Reply #33 on: October 19, 2017, 05:09:15 PM »
Talking of malls i don't like them, you always have to walk a mile to get any where, nether the less i was in town doing 90 days, mrs.T has never been to terminal 21, so we went. After words with the car park attendant who i upset by blowing my whistle at him out the window, he jumped up and bawled at me, you shouldn't blow a whistle if your not an official, i said i'm a linesmen. LOL

how does terminal 21 survive, the shops were overpriced and also empty, the london bus had no driver and the red telephone kiosk didn't work. we ended up in big C 45 bht for a plate of grub ;)  Hey what a guy Hendrik is, cool or what

The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83¼ Years Old

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouF8T2SpSUA


Another year and I still don't like old people. Me? I am 83 years old.'

Hendrik Groen may be old, but he is far from dead and isn't planning to be buried any time soon. Granted, his daily strolls are getting shorter because his legs are no longer willing and he had to visit his doctor more than he'd like. Technically speaking he is ... elderly. But surely there is more to life at his age than weak tea and potted geraniums?

Hendrik sets out to write an exposé: a year in the life of his care home in Amsterdam, revealing all its ups and downs - not least his new endeavour the anarchic Old-But-Not Dead Club. And when Eefje moves in - the woman Hendrik has always longed for - he polishes his shoes (and his teeth), grooms what's left of his hair and attempts to make something of the life he has left, with hilarious, tender and devastating consequences.

The indomitable Hendrik Groen - Holland's unlikeliest hero - has become a cultural phenomenon in his native Netherlands and now he and his famously anonymous creator are conquering the globe. A major Dutch bestseller, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen will not only delight older readers with its wit and relevance, but will charm and inspire those who have years to go before their own expiry date.

penguin.co.uk
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 
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Online Taman Tun

Re: meet the family
« Reply #34 on: October 19, 2017, 09:47:54 PM »
T21, yes we have been twice. The first time was just as you described, no customers, confusing layout. The second time we just ended up circulating around the car park and finding nowhere. We have not been back since.
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out. Churchill
 

Offline thaiga

Re: meet the family
« Reply #35 on: October 20, 2017, 12:05:44 AM »
HELLO the other poster, i was a bit unfair on my judgement t/21 as i never went any further than london floor but after reading your post i'm glad i never ventured further. I did hear they wanted a walkway to join up with big C but big C were not having that, there was 2 men with flags outside in the road stopping the traffic so people could cross from one store to the other, very primitive i thought Considering the money already spent on the place.

My main object was to visit foodland as i was looking for greenes gingo biloba tea, which i found in big C in the end.

GINGO BILOBA

Yes it's as good as they say, do you remember The 39 steps. Ha! Ha!

Is Ginkgo Biloba the Miracle Memory Vitamin? (Mental Health Guru)
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 

Offline thaiga

Re: meet the family
« Reply #36 on: October 20, 2017, 12:53:43 PM »
the mall that thinks it's a museum

Oh! i nearly forgot and just to add insult to injury about t/21 the mall that thinks it's a museum i wanted a pea whilst wandering around in there, i found the sign toilets whoopee, down a narrow winding twisting corridor, ahh! found it, as i open the door, the place was like it had never been used, a spotless, shining and well looked after by the lady cleaner who was mopping the floor.

As i walked to the urinals she followed behind cleaning where i had walked, as i stood to pee i could feel the swishing of the mop around my feet and in between my legs. at this stage i started to feel uncomfortable, like i shouldn't be there. i thought oh god i hope i don't splash on the floor, she'll go app shite  :-[ as i shook the drips off she murmured urre, was she clearing her throat i thought, or did she see my whopping parts  ;D

ok over to the wash basins to clean my hands, as i walked her eyes followed me, she had one hand on the top of the mop handle the other on her hip, glaring at me as i fondled the tap which never worked, i moved to another sink, twisted the tap left n right, pushed down pulled up, nah no water.

Noone she said and pointed to a sign that said sensor, there was a small hole to the right of the sink on the wall, i touch the sensor with my right hand, out come the water, great found it, but when you took your hand off the sensor the water automatically cut out so by the time your hands were under the tap it shut off. i started to get the giggles at this stage and wondered who thought of this great idea, did they even test it.

Now i could only wash one hand at a time, to wash my right hand, i put my left hand to the right of the sink, over the sensor, put my right hand under my left arm and with a bit of a stretch managed to get my right hand wet. job done.

wonder how the women get on no loo roll - stamp there feet i suppose ;)
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 

Online Taman Tun

Re: meet the family
« Reply #37 on: October 20, 2017, 02:44:33 PM »
Thaiga, I think you will make a good companion for Hendrik Groen. These places are not run for your convenience. Employees come first and you must not disturb their activities.
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out. Churchill
 
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Online jivvy

Re: meet the family
« Reply #38 on: October 20, 2017, 03:41:00 PM »
Quote
Now i could only wash one hand at a time, to wash my right hand, i put my left hand to the right of the sink, over the sensor, put my right hand under my left arm and with a bit of a stretch managed to get my right hand wet. job done.

Thaiga, seems like you were doing the hokey cokey
 
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Offline thaiga

Re: meet the family
« Reply #39 on: October 20, 2017, 04:01:54 PM »
These places are not run for your convenience.
convenience Ha! Ha! like it

Thaiga, seems like you were doing the hokey cokey
i suppose she might of held it for me if i asked - talk about here we go loop-di-loop

You put your right hand in
You take your right hand out
You give your hand a shake, shake, shake
And turn yourself about
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 

Offline thaiga

Re: meet the family
« Reply #40 on: October 20, 2017, 11:50:29 PM »
then there was 3 :)

Back on track. we all know thai women are the best in the world. But why do so many farangs choose to settle here with a thai girl. one of the reasons could be their relationship back home has gone stale as been together too many years, take each other for granted making one feel unloved or even unappreciated.

then on arrival to Thailand with a vast choice too choose a partner from. pretty, younger, girl hanging on your arm. All the time not knowing about the troubles and dangers, let alone the duties you will have to perform, NO i don't mean in bed, i mean her family and all that having to do, what you knew nothing about, before you came to settle here.

i knew nothing when i come here about,  can't own land, getting a visa, money in a thai bank and all that stipulations that come with being a farang/expat. i was told by my now wife she would take care of me and so would her family. But she wouldn't go against her families wishes up until a few years ago. so you won't feel like in charge at all, as she will get pushed by her family into making decisions. being the reason a lot of relationships don't go the distance.

many a Western guy has fallen under the magical spell of a Thai girl, could be the most wonderful experience you will have in your life, or on the other hand turn out to be your worst nightmare.

My personal opinion is that if a thai girl has had her heart broken by a thai man, left with the kids to support, you will stand a better chance to build a relationship with her, if you are not a fool but kind hearted and can show some love to her kids. the upper hand you have in being in a country where no one knows you is you can always re-invent yourself, like some do. Some of us are lucky to still have the mind of a 25 year old, albeit that it is trapped inside the body of an older man. But none of us like getting old, so we must live the life we have, not the life we imagined.

Article below from stickmanbangkok

And you don’t speak a word of Thai.
======================
Just passing through or only spending a few days in the area (as I and Stick were doing) is OK, but if you are transferring large sums of money from home and investing life savings or retirement money in dubious projects in this foreign land, foreign language, foreign culture and FOREI . . . ok, you get the idea . . . you’d clearly better watch out!

Such is the unfortunate position in which I found many expats in Isaan. Babes in arms, lambs to the slaughter. All in varying degrees of being hung out to dry – yet many, in their innocence, displaying a supreme confidence that this ‘new-found love of their life’ will successfully lead them through this disaster zone . . . this graveyard . . . full of shipwrecks, broken hearts and shattered dreams to some kind of nirvana, a new life in this, their adopted promised land full of milk and honey.

Because in the main these guys don’t speak a word of Thai – with no intention to learn any, either. They don’t even see why they should! Consequently they are shuffled around like dogs on a lead, in the majority of cases being ‘looked after’ by a dark-faced stocky ex rice-planter/picker (with a good heart) and end up spending their days huddled together in cheap bars telling each other how their respective countries have gone to the dogs.

Nah mate. That was you.

Many can’t take or get used to the heat, dress inappropriately, only shave every couple of days and generally dress in drab greys and browns (probably as those colours don’t show the dirt). The only people that will acknowledge them, the only ‘friends’ they seem to have are the taxi drivers, loose women and any other individuals ‘on the make’. Can’t you guys wake up to this for God’s sake?

Look, I’m not saying it’s all like this and I’m certain I can speak on behalf of the ones who really are trying to fit in, adapt and conform. I ask you, what kind of message are our Thai hosts receiving from the growing numbers of dead-beat foreigners now appearing all over the country and mainly in the sleazy areas of town? What opinions are forming in their very CLASS AND STATUS CONSCIOUS minds?

It’s been said that there is no middle class in Thailand. Just rich and poor. Well, add another category to that with the arrival of farang. I’m serious now, and it gives me no pleasure to have to report this. On the contrary I wish it were not true, because we have all been degraded by the arrival of this new breed, this bottom of the heap arrival in Thailand . . It now goes in declining order, rich, poor then FARANG.
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 

Online Taman Tun

Re: meet the family
« Reply #41 on: October 21, 2017, 10:15:39 AM »
Those last few paragraphs don’t mince their words.
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out. Churchill
 

Offline thaiga

Re: meet the family
« Reply #42 on: October 21, 2017, 11:04:19 AM »
because we have all been degraded by the arrival of this new breed, this bottom of the heap arrival in Thailand . . It now goes in declining order, rich, poor then FARANG.

I have certainly noticed the change in farangs that come here since my time in Thailand. A different breed could be right, or is it the money factor which changes lifestyle, like the man in the vid  koratfart.com potless.

During a visit to immig in the 90 days office, only this week, whilst waiting for my turn, a guy from the uk blurted out for all to hear, why are we here every 90 days we got our 1 yr visa, this is unnecessary. needless to say the staff raised their eyebrows, making them bias towards farangs maybe by classing them all the same.

the same guy, a thai lady said to her farang husband i'm just popping to the loo, the guy butted in, there's no loo roll in there, Ha! Ha!. How coarse.

Yes i know there not all the same but there is an increasing amount of guys like it. Some guys even try to change forum rules, what you agreed to when you signed up.  Rules r rules, you eat humble pie, there is an alternative. ;D
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 

Online Taman Tun

Re: meet the family
« Reply #43 on: October 21, 2017, 11:26:22 AM »
Yes, there are some bad examples to be seen: shouting at check-out girls because they do not speak English, unwillingness to accept immigration rules etc.  Yesterday, I went past one of the longer established farang bars in Korat. The clientele did not look too appetizing.

Luckily I checked this before posting. The predictive text changed Korat to Koran and farang became farming. 
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out. Churchill
 

Offline thaiga

Re: meet the family
« Reply #44 on: October 21, 2017, 01:39:09 PM »
Korat to Koran - they was trying to covert you  ;D

farang became farming - they might have to take up farming if things don't pick up  :-[

We are all strangers in a strange land, retirement don't come easy for some that have worked every day for forty odd years, then all your time is free time, what do you do, looking for someone to converse with, arh this looks a nice bar, a man takes a drink, the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man, that can also be habit forming.

You need discipline that comes from within, then learn the real meaning of freedom.  When it doesn’t, you learn the true depths of bondage. Too much free time can be a killer, humiliate you while you go about dying from causes you can’t control.
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 

Online Taman Tun

Re: meet the family
« Reply #45 on: October 21, 2017, 09:04:36 PM »
Thaiga, I must insist that you delete my photograph immediately.
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out. Churchill
 

Offline thaiga

Re: meet the family
« Reply #46 on: October 22, 2017, 12:42:22 AM »
There hows the pic now (above) 

This guy thinks he's a lady killer - bet he's crushed a few  :lol
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 

Online Taman Tun

Re: meet the family
« Reply #47 on: October 22, 2017, 11:42:09 AM »
Gross!
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out. Churchill
 

Offline thaiga

Re: meet the family
« Reply #48 on: October 22, 2017, 11:56:28 AM »
Hey t/t is half a gross better than none, nah

So we've moved to the other side of the world -  what happens now

I wonder if the people without money are happier than the people with. imagine being locked out your own country and being a millionare, like taksin, yinluck, red bull and many more, the riches and wealth they have, are they happy, i think not.

at least the down and outs and the likes of the geezer in the picture above, out of his mind on booze, has a welcome home to go to.

Ok we've moved here what now. Here's an imaginary story of what your life could be like, if you let it.

Oh! what a lovely house i have here in thailand, just look at the views, could never have this back home. the wife's gone to a party, nah, i didn't want to go, there's nothing there for me, too hot to sit around and that music, it's just too loud, the food is not to my liking and i don't understand what they are talking about, it's all in thai.

i've had enough of watching cd s, whats the time, 11 am, back home i'd we off out to the pub with me mates, a good game of dominoes, crack a few jokes, i miss that. i'll give em a ring to see how they are, oh it's a different time back home they will still be asleep. wonder how the wife is getting on at the party, eating som tum laughing and joking with her mates i suppose.

why on earth do i have a telephone in the house, it never rings, not for me anyway. toot toot, that'll be the postman, dash out to him see what's in the post, no point really i never get any letters addressed to me here, not like back home.

ok lets have a walk round the soi, take a stick with me, ffing soi dogs, oh it's just too hot, look at that sweet child playing, barely old enough to speak, he's pointing his finger at me bless him, saying farang, think i'll go back inside the home.


Well! some need a hobby, unless you like watching paint dry, there's always girl watching, some never get bored with that.  If all your missing is something you don’t want, then you’ll end up being the proud owner of nothing much.  :uhm
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 
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Online Taman Tun

Re: meet the family
« Reply #49 on: October 22, 2017, 04:08:23 PM »
i've had enough of watching cd s, whats the time, 11 am, back home i'd we off out to the pub with me mates, a good game of dominoes, crack a few jokes, i miss that.

Sit in pub with bunch of old farts in flat ‘ants, grousing about the weather, pensions, immigrants etc.

I’ll give em a ring to see how they are, oh it's a different time back home they will still be asleep. wonder how the wife is getting on at the party, eating som tum laughing and joking with her mates i suppose.

Sit in bar with bunch of boring old farts, grousing about the heat, immigration and the fact that nobody speaks English.

No difference.
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out. Churchill
 

Offline thaiga

Re: meet the family
« Reply #50 on: October 22, 2017, 05:22:06 PM »
got to make you right there t/t - life is what you make it wherever you are - see how having a bird can make you happy  ;D

               

Unhappy Expats in Thailand

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.
 

Online Taman Tun

Re: meet the family
« Reply #51 on: October 22, 2017, 05:25:38 PM »
Thaiga, you did not spot the unwanted Predictive text intervention. Can you or Johnnie please turn it off?

TT
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out. Churchill
 

 



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