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Topic Summary

Posted by: nan
« on: October 13, 2018, 06:02:01 PM »

hi serbi, an honest guys words, good to show your emotions, you have to learn to love yourself before you love another, so many sad stories we read at the flying club. although love brings happiness, it also brings tears at times, that you have to learn to deal with, like thinking to yourself, it will get better. you apreciate things even more when you have to wait for them. of course you have to look after the children and its nice to hear, they realise who took care of them and give some back as a thank you. as for the expat stories of untruths, could be they went the wrong way about things, messed up and resent other peoples happiness.

most good and fun relationships occur between two people who are comfortable with themselves as well as one another. love develops easier after making your own happiness. some even fall in love for the wrong reason, loneliness is one, over the years people change, so your partner is not the same as when you went into the relationship. time is the only thing none of us can stop. you can attract what you are, that great feeling when you meet somebody and you instantly have chemistry, that magnetic feeling that cannot be explained. your happiness is individual state of mind that is in your possession and only you have the key to it.

if you don't love yourself, how is someone else going to think you're totally awesome when even you don't think you are
Posted by: surbition
« on: October 13, 2018, 11:41:30 AM »

When its time to go back home, i remember it well, once you say your goodbyes at the airport and walk through them departure gates, its like you are in no mans land, you have left thailand behind you, you cannot just turn around and go back, a different world, putting on a brave face trying to find a smile, all the time your hurting inside missing your partner and the country you love and you haven't left yet. once i had some thai change in my pocket, there's a good idea say hello to your loved one on the public telephone, not a good idea, she answered, hello darling i sit bus, i could hear her sniffing blowing her nose, i pictured her the same as i now was, the tears were running down my cheek, we both had trouble getting our words of emotion out, both speaking at the same time. then the money run out, i hadn't even said goodbye.

i sat next to a thai couple on the flight, they both smiled, nice people, you holiday they said, yes i replied, you have thai lady, the woman said, oh god i couldn't answer trying to hold my tears back, i tried a smile looking like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

the next couple of weeks went by we phoned each other every day, come soon, i mit you she always said. i put myself into work and before i knew it the 3 months holiday come around again. yes i sent her money because i loved her, but not a lot, 4,000 baht every month, not over generous, but in them days that was enough to get by on. i didn't think i could love again, so she give me something that money cannot buy. on the subject of money, i already brought up 2 children that was not mine back home, so why not do the same here in Thailand. too many expats put their nose into someone elses private lives, about what you give to thai people, maybe they haven't got anything to give including love.

how can you marry and live with your thai wife and not take care of her children. i don't believe all i read or hear from expats, this country turns some into tom peppers, there nose keeps getting longer. now the children are grown up and working, they insist on giving back some of their money as a thankyou every month and won't take no as an answer, so my wife saves it up for them in a seperate account for years to come. they actualy remember and are grateful what mr.farang give them when they were young with nothing but the bare essentials.

A nice feeling and a show of how some kids turnout, bless them.
Posted by: thaiga
« on: October 13, 2018, 12:59:01 AM »

Well weve had enough tips in this thread to make us an expert on the opposite sex, what do i think, these guys have to fill up their blogs with something maybe some have never even been here, who knows, amazing how many experts there is though, ask a jolly foreigner, he'll know the answer.
what would be a first and very interesting is some tips from an actual thai man, now that would be good, a thai blog in english from a thai man about thai women.

what is right and what is wrong, how can you say, every woman and every sittuation is different, you get that instinct when you've hit it right, you can make yourself attractive by your ways, attitude, actions, sense of humour. you don't need to be loaded flashing the cash. infact If you are looking for a Thai girlfriend to have a future with, not a good idea to bring up the topic of money. never mention how much money you have, the guys that do brag seem to be the ones that don't have nothing to lose anyway. how much you earn, keep that as your business, don't go splashing out on her lavishly, she might expect that all the time. be a cheap charlie until you get to know her. see how she views it all, you'll know then she is just happy to be with you.

put out your mind she might be a gold digger, that might be in your head only, from what you've heard from loser farangs that didn't have anything to lose anyway. of course some want a western guy to get a better life. but find the right thai lady, she will give you a better life as well. you just need to play your hand with caution. don’t believe all the stereotypes on the Internet, Thai girls are not always after your money. who wouldn't take money if it's given to you.

If you do fall in love, you could rip yourself apart when it's time for you to go back home. your holiday has ended, that's the time you will know your feelings for this lady. they say absense makes the heart grow fonder, but when you wave goodbye at the airport, the old strings of the heart start pumping, even worse if she don't answer her phone when your back home, the mind can then play tricks, funny thing is we all think the worse, is she with another man.
Posted by: thaiga
« on: October 12, 2018, 02:17:55 PM »

Few tips here from bkk-lifestyle.com basically a warning against falling in love, which could be easily mistaken by lust, don't be a fool, thinking your new found friend is thinking the same as you. could lead to disappointment and regret. some of these girls have been let down badly before by a man in their life, so money is there love now, it doesn't let them down, they can buy some happiness

Avoid a love relationship (don't be a fool)

Don’t fall for the “love trap” as it can lead to a very slippery slope full of disappointment and regret. Enjoy these experiences to the fullest and treat the girls with courtesy, but attempting to form a love relationship with any working girl because she is satisfying your fantasy and emotional void is something that I would not recommend. These experiences can be emotionally and physically intoxicating, and addictive in comparison to the boring life you might be living back home, and this psychological blind spot can lead one to act in a very irrational manner. You might find some of these working girls quite sincere, honest, and sweet within the boundary of their profession, but their primary objective is financial, no more no less.

Always treat the girls with respect and kindness

Always treat the girls with respect and kindness. You know the rule: Treat someone well, and you will be well treated. Some men think they have the right to treat the girls like garbage, and disrespect them because the payment gives them the right to act out any indecent behavior without consequence.

Such negative behavior will often produce undesirable results. That is, either a girl will not tolerate it and leave, or she stays but feels disgusted and gives a half-hearted service without any warmth and pleasant human interaction. In other words, it will be a plain cold "mechanistic" sexual act where the only thing that matters is a quick finish.

In contrast, if you treat a girl well, you will get a great girlfriend-like TLC service, all in a more relaxed atmosphere. She will try to create a deeper emotional and physical bond with you, be more affectionate and passionate, all of which lead to a better experience.

Some girls are emotionally drained

To elaborate more on Tip 4 and Tip 6, we would like to caution our readers that by treating a girl well doesn't always guarantee a great service. There are many working girls that have become emotionally and physically drained by years of engaging in the trade, which is no different than any other professionals being burned out by their work.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that many of these girls have been dealing with various low life men i.e. psychopath, drug addicts, mentally ill, aggressive and rude - you name it. Consequently, many of these girls might be physically present, but her mind is nearly absent, and will give as little effort as possible. She won't care if you have a great personality or good looks. The trick is to engage in small talk and feel the girl out as much as you can before buying her service.

Many girls are engaging this trade to have a more luxurious lifestyle

Do not assume that all freelance working girls are engaging in this trade because of terrible and desperate family or personal circumstances. Rather, many of them are doing this as an easy way to achieve and maintain a more luxurious lifestyle.
Given the relatively low wage in the Thailand economy as compared to the Western standard, these girls can earn a month worth of salary within a matter of few days from the sex trade. In addition, many men would take the girls out to fancy restaurants and bars for partying, and even go shopping together. This is quite different from what the working girls do in many Western countries, in that, the working girls in Thailand provide more than just sex related services, they are full time companion and vacation guide for their male clients. As a side note, many male expats in Thailand employ the service of a female companion who provides a whole list of services including sex, cooking, cleaning, translator, and other day to day activities.

Thus, it's tempting for many “regular” girls to work as a freelancer, as this trade gives them the ability to afford holidays, nice condos, clothing/jewelry, and other amenities. In brief, when negotiating with any working girl, you should not assume that your financial payment goes towards supporting her desperately poor family, rather, it’s an extra income for her to purchase that newest iPhone or Gucci bag.

Again, many of these working girls are quite sincere, honest, and very sweet within the boundary of their profession, but their primary objective is financial, no more no less.
Posted by: thaiga
« on: October 11, 2018, 09:32:42 PM »

Are you horny

Posted by: thaiga
« on: October 11, 2018, 06:14:17 PM »

answers to those 4 questions you get asked in the bar

What are the best answers to those 4 questions you get asked in the bar?

“What’s your name?” The best answer recently heard in Pattaya was “Nunya!” The bar girl replied “nice to meet you Nunya!” Strange name? What does it mean? It turns out it is short for Nunya Business! (None-of-your-business!!!) Normally guys don’t give their real name, well the guys that live in Thailand tend not to. Why you might ask? Well, what if you get a phone call from a bar girl and your wife answers? Wrong name = wrong number! Unless of course your wife is very clever and asks your ‘Mia Noi’ (Little Wife) to describe the guy she is calling…..So the choices are, real name, funny name or alias! Up to you.

Another guy recently met up with a lovely bar lady in Bangkok, took her back to the hotel room and then she told him his real name and where he worked…. He was a bit surprised to say the least! It turned out she worked during the day for a company he had a contract with and she had brought him coffee in a meeting! She looked very different in a business suit…

“Where you come from?” Another classic reply “I’m from Foodland!” Most bar girls will think you are Finnish or at least a Scandinavian with this reply. Is it important where you are from or is she just being polite? It’s a bit of both really. After all it’s a polite introduction and the lass is trying to work out if you are likely to be loaded or not, if you are on holiday or you are an ex-pat having a sneaky night out whilst your missus has gone up country!

“How old you?” Thai girls are fascinated with how old everyone is. You could tell her “same age you”, which isn’t very likely, or ask her to guess. She will usually guess younger than you really are as this will almost definitely result in you buying her a lady drink, job done! If you’re over fifty you could be looking to retire in Thailand and will obviously require a young lady to spend all of your pension pot on, unless you already have one, or two…

“How long you stay Thailand?” This one, if answered truthfully, informs the young lass if you are an ex-pat or tourist. If you want the best service tell her you go back to your home country next week. She will think you have money to burn and will try her very best to separate you and it! As an alternative, the next girl who asks you “How long you stay Thailand?” tell her “Ten years.” She may think, darn where’s the 2 week millionaires when you need them? Or, you may be lucky and she is happy whoever pays the rent for the night. It is often funny when you ask the bar girls how long they have worked in the bar, especially if they think you are a tourist. The usual reply is “Only 2 weeks, I work in salon before Jail Bate A Go Go!” It kinda softens the blow when you introduce her to your family as your future wife when you explain she is a cashier in a popular bar, after all it is low season she couldn’t have been with too many other guys, right?

flirt-pattaya.com
Posted by: thaiga
« on: October 10, 2018, 06:45:26 PM »

Do Thai women expect you to have some ‘Mia Noi’ or naughty nights out

Many foreign guys who are married to a Thai lady (or have a long time Thai girlfriend) and live in Pattaya still play the field and visit day bars, A-Go-Go’s and massage parlours; but, is it expected that the foreign guy has carnal liaisons with other ladies or even have a regular ‘Mia Noi’ (Little Wife)? For many Thai ladies the answer must be yes, especially when surrounded by the constant temptations that a city like Pattaya has to offer. One might even suggest Pattaya is the perfect place for a ‘butterfly’. So if a Thai wife or long term girlfriend expects the foreign partner to play around, why do they put up with it?

Many Thai’s believe all foreigners are wealthy or at least far wealthier than they are. Bar girls in particular meet 2 week millionaire’s every day of the week! So, if a Thai lady hooks a ‘farang’ into a long term relationship they will often expect him to play around, because they do! They may have 4 or 5 foreigner’s lining up paying various monies for house, condo, bike and car. But when they marry one they want loyalty, or at the very least not to lose face; maybe it’s only a perceived loyalty though, money being number one…. In Thailand it’s very important how things look to the observer. Basically, don’t get caught or it will cost you! Not all Thai ladies are programmed to relieve you of your cash, but there are many like this in Pattaya.

Some guys take the playing the field game further than others. A common trap to get caught in is falling in love with a new model when you have a wife and family. The guy might even take care of the new girl financially and end up paying her not to work and even buy or rent her an apartment and maybe find her a normal job too! (Chances are when his back is turned she’ll be up to her old tricks with another guy!) If things get too serious often the guy will try to end it, but the new girl is onto a good thing. Normally she will try anything to keep the cash flowing. This includes threatening to kill herself, telling everyone about the relationship (including your wife), telling your boss that you have a Mia Noi and you beat her up and so on. Then of course the wife loses face and takes revenge….One popular form of revenge other than ‘suicide’ is for the wife to try to cut the wayward husband’s little man off whilst he’s asleep! This is rather extreme, but if he’s been playing around, especially with lady boys, then apparently all’s fair in love and war.

If you’re a rubbish liar being a player or ‘butterfly’ is really not your vocation. And it’s worth remembering, if you always tell the truth, you never have to remember anything! What was that? Never mind….

flirt-pattaya.com
Posted by: thaiga
« on: September 24, 2018, 05:16:19 PM »


tamun tun i cannot find where i left off,nans column.

its here surbition expats-woes
Posted by: thaiga
« on: September 24, 2018, 02:25:42 PM »

Hooray! hooray! PT4 - the broken man - finished at last - this is not an article its more like a book - imagine getting in a conversation with this guy in a bar - will he drive his second NAT away with his in detail conversations - on reading amateur stories online sometimes the author will include so much detail that the reader gets a little bored or distracted and forgets what the actual story is about. now where was we, oh! yes, the broken man

The brokenman

I remain ambivalent about Thai love links. The Thai girls who have lived in the UK for any time quickly adopt the worst characteristics of their western sisters and it is very rare to receive the courtesy of a reply from my notes to them. The Thai girls who reside in Thailand are initially enthusiastic about corresponding with a farang guy and will express undying love and devotion to you within the second communication. You rarely see a third, they get bored very quickly. It has been unkindly suggested that if you have not despatched the Western Union money transfer by their second note they move on to pastures new.

In a moment of boredom I contacted some of the Thai ladies who had been good friends but had lost contact with since my marriage. Joyce from Grimsby had married a chap name Smith and was living in Ayutthaya; Netty my pretty nursing assistant from Khon Kaen had married an Aussie. Anna my university lecturer from Ubon had met a Frenchman 5 years her junior. Sara my exotic beautician from Udon Thani had string of suitors but claimed no one loved her. Paulette from Sriracha hadn’t yet found a bloke but tried to interest me in a business venture. Jenny my cultured health officer from Rayong had met a German guy and had gone to the Fatherland to spend a holiday with him. For some reason he dropped her saying he wanted to concentrate on his work. I think it is his loss as Jenny is lovely. Emily the beautiful Health officer from Roi Et refused to answer my missives neither would Pon the nurse who once kept me incarcerated in a Nana bedroom for three days for her carnal gratification.

As you can see I was somewhat at a loose end and in need of a little distraction. So I sat and penned another of the Researching Thai tottie tales of my alter ego Algernon Wright Basterde. It is a piece of errant nonsense that I may yet not submit but it kept me occupied for a time.

I recently received a number of emails from fellow stickmanites (including stick himself) genuinely concerned for my welfare and interested to hear how the story had developed in the 3 months since my last submission.  I had the urge to write but had difficulty in resolving the brokenman tale; I had no progress to report and nothing interesting to say.

However my pal Union Hill has often remarked that having nothing interesting to say has never stopped me in the past.

I had not realised my scribblings were so popular until my pal Fanta informed me I had a bit of a fan club in the stickman fraternity ( I am however assured that they have now had their medication restored to them). In truth I always felt my brokenman stories were overly long and extremely self indulgent. I was genuinely astounded by the number of chaps who wrote to tell me they looked forward to hearing my rosy cheeked capers and actually enjoyed their long rambling nature. One wonderful chap told me he had printed off all the brokenman episodes and kept them in a folder for reference.

That certainly lifted my spirits.

I just needed a bit of good luck or something mildly positive to happen so I could resolve this chapter in the brokenman saga.

Then out of the blue I received a note from a Thai lady on one of the obscure networking sites I seem to be a member of. It was apparently in reply to one of the speculative missives I send if I see an Asian lady’s profile. It transpired she lived in the UK; in fact she lived within 5 miles of me. A further exchange of notes resulted in her suggesting we meet, so last night we had our first date in a nearby pub.

The date was an unexpected success, however this must be tempered with the knowledge that I consider it is an achievement if they don’t run away screaming when they first see me. She was comfortable with me and even politely laughed at my jokes.

At 50 she is the oldest Thai women I have dated but she looks at least 10 years younger. She is delightfully petite, 5 ft nothing and probably weighs 85 lb wringing wet. Long silky black hair with pale unblemished skin completes the picture.

Originally from Bangkok she has lived in the UK 10 years, divorced for 5 and has no children. Her father is an ex Royal Thai Air force pilot and her family back in Bangkok are well to do which is as good as her being an orphan. She has a job in a local residential care home that she enjoys and drives a Vauxhall Astra in decent nick. She is intelligent, witty and has a smile that has already captivated me. For some unknown reason she appeared to like me and wants to see me again. I accept my recent track record with Thai women leaves much to be desired and I know it is very early days, but I have a very good vibe about this lady. She has returned the smile to my face.

By a cruel twist of irony her name is Nat.

broken man repaired.wordpress.com
Posted by: thaiga
« on: September 23, 2018, 09:25:14 PM »

This is a long article, still more than (10000 characters) left, so PT4 is needed to finish the story

The brokenman pt.3

With the mechanics and daily disciplines of my job hunt in place, I decided to cease my self chastisement and start living again.

I had become somewhat of a recluse. Notwithstanding the necessity to conserve my money I did not want to keep repeating my excuses for Nat’s absence to friends I meet.

I have a group of professional friends who I have been pals with we since we were boy choristers in a church choir 45 years ago. They persuaded me to go with them to a dance they had organised for a charity and held at a community centre. It was a 70’s theme night and everyone was dressed in gear from the era that style forgot. It turned out to be a fun evening; the crowd were all in their 40s and 50s and there were a number of rather attractive if somewhat overblown women in attendance. Most of them had taken the opportunity to dress minimally to show off their breasts; there were some magnificent specimens on display …if you like that sort of thing.

There was one particular woman in her late 40s who attracted a lot of attention, the kind usually only generated after the 6th pint. She was not particularly pretty and her breasts were average at best but if you asked all the men there that night the eternal question “would you?” the answer would have been affirmative and universal.

My one mate is a forensic scientist he was quite fascinated with her but his scientific mind was troubled because he couldn’t work out why he found her so attractive?

I enlightened him. She was the only woman in the room with a discernable waistline

Needless to report I did not pull that evening but on returning to my empty flat I accepted I needed to shed the hair shirt, I was not the first chap to be made a fool of by a Thai girl I will certainly not be the last. I had not caused the circumstances of the separation from my wife. I was to all intents and purpose a single bloke again.

I needed a little romance in my life

Back to the internet and the left handed mouse?

For some time Western females have held little attraction for me. However my love affair with Thailand and its womanhood had understandably diminished so I decided to suspend my prejudice and once again try my hand with English women. The problem remained I had very little positive experience with them, I had not kissed an English woman for 6 years and had not enjoyed any serious intimacy with a western woman (other than my English wife) for over 20 years.

The first thing I resolved was I would not waste time and my limited cash trawling pubs and bars in search of love. I recall my initial forays into pubs and clubs looking for unattached females. Rather than the liberated cultured career women I was expecting to meet I encountered a strange race of coarse, tattooed, foul mouthed creatures, smoking cursing and binge drinking like soviet submariners on shore leave.

An alternative setting could be libraries, shopping malls or even supermarkets. I am an inveterate flirt and can always engineer an excuse to strike up a conversation with a woman. But in the prevailing PC environment in the UK, if you smile at a woman in a public place she is more than likely to summon a constable for your arrest

It was with an open mind I returned to ubiquitous internet and the dating sites.

A cursory inspection of the best known dating sites such as Dating direct, Match dot com etc reminded me why I had previously given up on them in despair. The feminist inspired sense of entitlement and self importance displayed in most of the female profiles beggared belief. The other overriding impression I get is that most English men and women hate each other

In the past BKKSW has good naturedly teased me that blokes like me who complain about western women are social misfits that have failed to keep pace with the changes in society. Our failures to attract western women are the result of our own inadequacies and lack of social skills. He delivered this in his own inimitable tongue in cheek style but I can accept there is certainly some truth in his contention. There is no doubt however that western womanhood has changed beyond recognition in the past 10 years.

They have no idea what they actually want but they want it now irrespective that they probably would not want it when they actually get it.

I was recently enlightened by an English lady friend about the reality of English dating sites and the errors I had made in the past. I had mistakenly thought if one sent a series of fascinating correspondence you would slowly build up a relationship and the lady would finally agree to a date. I was completely wrong; women are considerably more predatory than that. Dating sites are “as it says on the tin” for dating and not encounter groups or a pen pal society.

Women make the decisions on the men they fancy solely on the physical attractiveness of the photos on his profile. They then send him a message of introduction. If they get a reply (irrespective of its literary merit) a date is suggested. Women have a perception of their own value on a scale of 1 to 10; if they have a discernable waistline irrespective of their facial features they consider they are automatically an 8. This determines the calibre of chap they will search for. For example if they discern themselves as an 8 they can seek guys they rate as 8 and up to 8 years younger than themselves.  The grading is principally on their concept of the guy’s physical attractiveness although certain occupations or evidence of a substantial income will elevate a man with a rating of 4 up to an 8 with very little compunction.

Knowing this has saved me fruitless hours composing fascinating correspondence.

When perusing the profiles on these sites I found it did not take long for my interest in English women to wane and once again I started looking for Asian girls despite my recent experience. I have concluded my jasmine fever is incurable I am just naturally attracted to Asian women.

There is an American dating site new to the UK called eHarmony which claims a fresh approach to dating based on pre-screening to match for compatibility and shared values. The sales pitch certainly created a great expectation. I spent 30 minutes completing the detailed questionnaire in eager anticipation that I would find a pretty educated Thai or Asian girl with a penchant for short ageing Englishmen. She would be scrupulously honest, with her own income (and preferably an orphan with no family to support) who lives just around the corner within walking distance of my apartment.

Instead they sent a reply “Sorry we can not find ANYONE compatible with you.”

I was devastated. With my self confidence in an already fragile condition they may as well sent me a letter “Dear sad old tosser, have you considered employment as a Quasimodo look alike?” I have since found the thought of being refused by a dating site highly amusing.  It certainly confirmed the opinion that one or two people have of me.

I rejoined Thai love links in the search for a UK based Thai female but quickly realised that most of the Thai females that are resident in the UK live in the London area, in fact anywhere but Birmingham and the West Midlands. That should tell me something about the absence of any attraction in living in the midlands. I am beginning to sense that the area is becoming a third world rust belt.

A travel writer described Birmingham as Britain’s third largest city, a cultural wasteland populated entirely by degenerates with a hideous accent devoid of hope….and all the streets smell of urine.

He was quite wrong; Birmingham is Britain’s second largest city.

I remain ambivalent about Thai love links. The Thai girls who have lived in the UK for any time quickly adopt the worst characteristics of their western sisters and it is very rare to receive ... to be continued

brokenman.com
Posted by: surbition
« on: September 23, 2018, 01:00:55 PM »

Wednesbury (wenzbry if you’re a chav). it is the pits. Once a home to the affluent business owners who gained riches from the pits. no source of income now since the mines no longer exist. it was declared by the government as one of the top five most deprived areas in the country. home to the single teen moms, drug addicts and petty criminals. I have heard the saying out the frying pan into the fire, nat come out of the wok into the frying pan. rolf rolf

tamun tun i cannot find where i left off,nans column.
Posted by: Taman Tun
« on: September 23, 2018, 06:49:08 AM »

One word stands out in this article:- Wednesbury.  I did some work there in the late 1980s and back then it was a post-apocalyptic wasteland. I doubt if it has changed much since.
Now look at it through Nat’s eyes.

All farangs on bar stools along Sukhumvit look the same.  They all have lots of money for booze and bar fines. They must all have fine mansions in leafy villages back in the UK.  So imagine Nat’s shock upon arrival in Wednesbury.  The level of deprivation and poverty would come as a surprise to the poorest of Thai farm girls.  Her Sukhumvit farang was not rich after all.  Finding herself in this position, Nat took the pragmatic approach and earned as much as she could in the London restaurant. 
Posted by: thaiga
« on: September 23, 2018, 01:10:21 AM »

Heres pt.2 of the brokenman. the article is so long and exceeds the allowed amount of words. The message exceeds the maximum allowed length (10000 characters) so pt.3 it is. would be nice to think that some people reading this article, that might be in the same situation take note your not on your own, you can work it out without the terrible incidents we hear of, with relationships.

The brokenman Pt.2

The reaction from the stickman community was nothing less than amazing. Within the next two weeks 17 submissions related to my story were posted by the luminaries in the stickman fraternity namely Korski, BKKSW. Marc Holt, Lookpapa, Bangkok Barry, Frank Visekay, Farang Dave  Thaigary, PC, Peter Pickles, Bangkok Bull, Charles, Jurgen, all excellent summations of my predicament, all eloquent  supportive and constructive.

Only two submissions were negative, the schardenfreude of Anonymous, delighting in my misery and Oldenschutz claiming I was delighting in my own misery. But even though I felt them unnecessarily vitriolic I could not argue with their conclusions.

As you can imagine I am no stranger to criticism I did however consider the accusation I was lecturing a tad unfair. All I have ever done in my submissions is to share the accounts of my journey with friends.

I received 35 emails from stickman readers offering me support and more importantly tendering constructive and well intentioned advice. There is an immense depth of good will in the stickman fraternity. They lifted my spirits no end.

It was a few weeks before Nat came up to Wednesbury to see me. We spent a weekend in domestic bliss. It was my mother’s birthday and she welcomed Nat as the prodigal daughter. My boys came up to see her (probably in the hope she would feed them) and we went to a lively 40th birthday party. But by the time I deposited her on the coach back to London my fears were confirmed. I did not really figure in her plans; her debts were her top priority. I was beginning to appreciate the sheer magnitude of her problem, it was more than I could have addressed even if I was earning twice my previous (not insubstantial) level of salary.

However much I felt I had been used I also had to be realistic and if I insisted she live with me I would have to take responsibility for her debt. There is no doubt she is in a regal financial fix that will end in tears in a Thai court. I am clearly in no position to help.

I do not want to spend too much time in self analysis, I had already spent far too much time in the past month with my head up my own anal orifice but it was clear I had acted rashly in marrying. I did it in somewhat of a panic. I was lonely, my future looked bleak and I wanted someone to love me and share life with. It has not worked out as planned.

You can understand why I remain extremely envious of the many men I know who have successfully married a loving Thai lady.

Most of the advice I have received has been to get rid of her with all good speed. However Phil, who is my oldest Bangkok pal, advised caution and advocated I employ a little patience. Over the years Phil’s guidance and fatherly advice has been invaluable to me and he has never knowingly put me wrong. I wanted to preserve my friendship with Nat and retain some semblance of hope (and dignity), however forlorn. I also hoped she will manage to sell some of her assets in Thailand and return some of the money I gave her as she promised ….perhaps an even more forlorn hope.

I have taken Phil’s counsel and told Nat that I would continue to let her earn some money and we would review the situation in a few months time. There will come a time when I will send the letter to immigration that will get her shipped back to Thailand without ceremony, but not yet. I have no other relationship on the horizon. I see the chance of bringing another Thai wife over in the foreseeable future now very slim. I had the one shot and missed.

The following month her contact with me slowly reduced and she rarely answered my calls. I was particularly annoyed that I can not get her to comprehend why I feel aggrieved at her living away from me and that she rarely contacts me. Her answer to my complaint is invariably a display of martyrdom and the comment “but I am working”. I had difficulty reconciling her attitude with the reality that I still held the means of her being in the UK by virtue of the terms of her spouse visa.

I was also acutely aware she was slowly draining my spirit and I recognised I needed to put all thoughts of her aside for the time being and get my own life together. I acknowledge this would undoubtedly involve a few steps back in order to move forward. My life has been a game of snakes and ladders of late. I have slipped down a series of snakes and almost off the board.

I need to throw a six to re-enter the game but I appear to have mislaid the dice.

Things can not get much worse can they?

It was four weeks before I found a job. It was a temporary position at a plant producing cast wheels.  It was hard, hot, physically demanding and thoroughly demoralizing work. Although I was engaged as a manager designate I was basically a fitter’s mate and labourer. In my career I have met more than my share of grasping greedy self serving egotists but the owner of this operation ranked up there amongst the worst. He only needed the stove pipe hat to complete the full behaviour of the Victorian mill owner and at 74 he was certainly the best case for compulsory euthanasia I have met.

I presented them with an impressive 20 page strategic audit of their operation and an outline business plan (which I prepared in my own time) in an attempt to curry favour. But it was to no avail.

I tore a tendon in my left arm which was probably through doffing and wringing my cap in the boss’s presence as much as the physical work. Although I desperately needed the money I must confess it was with some relief when I was laid off after 6 weeks.

Even the clinically unobservant could not fail to realise this current recession is of biblical proportions and technical or managerial jobs in UK manufacturing are non existent. The Foundry manager position in the Middle East I was hoping to be my salvation also failed to materialise I had exhausted all my immediate contacts and had run out of options

I had not completely lost my sense of humour. I spotted a story in my local newspaper about a supervisor at a local factory, who on his way home had fallen into the canal and drowned. The next day I rushed to the factory to apply for his job only to be told by the gateman I was too late; the chap who pushed him in the canal had the job already.

After losing 4 jobs in 7 months I had also exhausted my resources so I submitted to the inevitable and signed on the dole at the Jobcentre the next morning.

My descent was complete.

 The only way is up?

Other than joining the flying club I was at a total loss what to do next. I do not remember much of the next few days.

I have two sons in their early 20’s and I enjoy a very close relationship with them both. They came to see me for a serious discussion. They were concerned not because of me losing my job(s); they had seen me recover many times before, but what troubled them this time I appeared to have lost my spirit and the will to fight..

More than anything this prompted me to extract my head from my posterior aperture and think what to do with the rest of my life or at least the next few months. I awoke the next morning resolved to begin my fight back.

I was reconciled that I may be out of work for some time so it was time to batten down the financial hatches. I activated the insurance policies I had to cover my loan and credit card debts and called in a small pension. With a weekly income of £64 jobseekers allowance I just hoped I could survive the next few months by a harsh regime of strict frugality. I would have to become accustomed to the taste of gruel.

One of the great antagonists of the stickman fraternity was Cassanudra. He is now in UK and doing very well for himself. We have kept in contact over the past few years and he serves the role of conscience sitting on my shoulder, frequently admonishing me on the numerous occasions when he feels I have been a prize Pratt. I have never minded his often strident censures because I believe they are well intentioned. After receiving my customary reprimand in his last correspondence he gave me some very good contacts for my job search including an agency for jobs in S E Asia and some connections for jobs in the UK research community.

The Thai connection is quite impressive I have, on average applied for 2 or 3 jobs every week for technical and managerial posts in Thailand and SE Asia. Although nothing has transpired yet I remain optimistic.

The research connections demonstrated I did not have sufficient academic qualifications (minimum requirement Masters Degree or PhD) but it gave me ideas for teaching and I registered with the Government Teaching Development Agency. Unfortunately most of the managers made redundant in the business community had the same idea and all teacher training spaces were filled by the end of March.

Nevertheless education in some form or other is an avenue I am continuing to explore.

The jobcentre sent me on a workshop for newly unemployed professionals to help in understanding the current labour market. It gave some invaluable insights into employer recruitment and selection techniques. It explained about writing tailored CVs and contemporary interview techniques. I learnt that searching for work is a full time job and it helped me establish the regimes and routines of a serious job search

With the mechanics and daily disciplines of my job ... to be continued

brokenman.com
Posted by: Oppo
« on: September 22, 2018, 08:55:50 PM »

I have read simmilar stories from this guy or someone named brokenman on stickmanbangkok few years back.

if you see your money slowly dwindling away then put a block on it before its gone, even though you might end up on your own by doing that, you will still be on your own when the money has gone anyway. if any feelings were ever there, they could of stayed together, both worked and paid off the debts slowly. but no, she has chosen to chase the money instead of her husband. if its true that is.

cmon then lets have the rest
Posted by: Taman Tun
« on: September 22, 2018, 08:21:18 PM »

Come on Surbiton, we are all dying to hear about the drugs and murder!
Posted by: surbition
« on: September 22, 2018, 05:50:07 PM »

My heart goes out to these guys, do they confuse lust with love. He should have settled himself in Thailand with the lady he loved, at least he would be able to see where his money was going. did she use him for a travel ticket. i wish I had discovered Thailand years ago when i was younger. on a recent holiday back home there were two young indian girls in a bar, they were on the game, it was dimly lit, with their tight jeans, tanned faces and pulled back hair, i had a sudden vision of being in Thailand, they became bar girls for a split second. the only difference would have been the price  :-[  i did notice some lonely old boys sitting in the corner, looking into there near finnished beer, i felt quite sorry for them. a different world.

back home now, part 2 hurry hurry, thank you
Posted by: thaiga
« on: September 22, 2018, 03:33:55 PM »

This is a sad article like many, although old it is well worth the read, apart from it goes on and on about some minor things we don't need to know about. a gullible guy who rushes into a relationship, he had the one shot and missed, sad story. (the short n long of it) he marries a thai lady takes her back to his country, she bleeds him dry of his money to pay debts and family back home in Thailand. she leaves him and wanders off  finds work to get more money. Other than joining the flying club the only way is up. his own words, I was not the first chap to be made a fool of by a Thai girl I will certainly not be the last. just too much to read and violin playing, i think she got bored. is there light at the end of the tunnel as he meets another thai lady in his home town with the same name, omg. wonder if you can read it all. such a long article it comes in 2 parts or even 3 :-[

The Brokenman back under repair pt.1

It is alleged that Suhkumvit is one of the few communities in the world without a permanent village idiot. I believe this is because every year thousands of sex tourists arrive from the west and take turns in fulfilling the role

For six years I was amongst their number. For four of those years I was the archetypal sex monger availing myself of the pleasures of the salacious sois of Suhkumvit and Sin city on sea. In later years I did vary my P4P adventures in encounters with several respectable ladies. As noted in my previous submission I also did my spell as the village idiot. Most of you are acquainted with my tales but as each submission must stand alone, for the new reader I tender a reader’s digest version of my story so far.

The story so far

Much as I relished my biannual de-s--nking expeditions to the Kingdom by November 2007 I had realised that at 52 the clock was ticking and I needed to make some decisions in my life. A lonely Christmas precipitated the resolution to marry one of my Thai ladies and bring her back to the UK to live. After careful deliberations out of four candidates I settled on Nat, an allegedly respectable Thai lady aged 33 I had met on my first trip and had retained a strong friendship with since November 2003.

At Easter 2008 we married in Bangkok and honeymooned in Chaing Mai. In September the spouse visa came through and I collected her at Heathrow airport for the start of our new life together in the UK. She charmed everyone she met and was made welcome by all my family and wide social circle of friends. I was besotted, she was wonderful and my heart would sing every time I looked at her. The first two months in the UK together were idyllic, maybe the happiest of my life.

It was not until the end of October she admitted to significant debts in Thailand, principally on credit cards, accrued in building an impressive house near Udon Thani for her Mother. In November she returned to Thailand with the intention of sorting them. I gave her the last of my savings to satisfy the most urgent obligations. Her departure was one of the saddest moments of my life and posed the big question would she return? All the money I had accrued in the past few years had all gone on getting married, the visa process, bringing her over, and setting up home with her. With the additional cost of helping her debt I had said goodbye to around £18k in less than 6 months. To compound matters I was made redundant at Christmas from a job I loved which completed the misery of another Christmas spent alone.

Fortunately I found a new job, unfortunately it was in the Cambridge area 100 miles from our home in the West Midlands but I was to start at the end of January. On the day I was scheduled to travel Nat returned from Thailand and arrived unexpectedly on my doorstep. She accompanied me to Cambridgeshire and I found a pub with clean comfortable rooms close to the foundry. Again Nat charmed everyone she met particularly the guys at the plant on the days I took her in. We even found a few Thai people for her to converse with. St Neots is a pleasant town on the river Ouse with a nice market square and a variety of pubs and restaurants. She was quite taken with the place and declared if things worked out with my new job she could happily settle there.

Her trip to Thailand had achieved little, she still had her substantial debts but now in addition she had the unrealistic desire to put her son through university in Bangkok. Her need to find a (substantial) source of income was clearly becoming urgent.

The third week she decided not to come to Cambridgeshire with me, choosing to stay at our flat in the Midlands till my return the weekend. It was on the Thursday when I phoned her that she dropped a bombshell on me. She had been perusing the internet and found a job in a Thai restaurant in West London. Apparently the owner came from Nong Khai and knew her father’s family. She then informed me she was leaving for London by coach on Friday morning to start work that weekend. I was alarmed at the news she was going away, that she was going so quickly and that it was done without any discussion.

She settled quickly sharing a room above the restaurant with two other Thai girls. With the long hours she was prepared to work she was making more money in London than she could back in Thailand or in the midlands. It was four weeks before I finally persuaded her to see me on her rare day off. She agreed to come after she had finished work at 9.00pm but needed to return before 9.00pm the following evening. I booked her on a coach from London and collected her at midnight from Cambridge coach station. I was so happy to see her and we spent a pleasant day together but my misgivings were beginning to grow. The drive back to Cambridge should have given the opportunity for a pleasant chat but talk of money predominated. When pressed how long she thought this situation was likely to continue, “Until I have paid my debts my love, maybe two or three years” was her response. When her coach departed to London my mind was in turmoil. I had the dreadful realisation that I could no longer afford my own wife. I had probably lost her.

There is never a situation so bad that can not be made infinitely worse by events beyond your control. The following week my boss came to see me informing me he intended closing the Cambridgeshire plant by the end of March. He promised to pay me up to Easter but he could not promise me further employment after I had closed the plant for him. He insisted I work my notice at his other foundry in Wiltshire showing them how to make the business he would transfer from the St Neots plant.  I travelled to Wiltshire to work the final two weeks of my contract. It was not a pleasant experience.   

The Easter weekend I returned alone to the flat in Wednesbury. It was our wedding anniversary but in the 365 days we have been married we have spent a total of 75 days together. Three months of having to travel some distance to work, living in digs and delays in my salary and expenses being paid had put me in debt again. I was physically and mentally exhausted. I catch my reflection in the mirror; I suddenly felt very old.

I had a strong feeling of déjà vu. I was back were I was six years ago when my English wife divorced me. I had nothing to show for six years rebuilding my life and six years emotional investment in my Thai wife. I felt a worthless piece of shit. For a week or so I was in a very dark place.

Consulting the tribe

As anyone who has sat amongst the ruins of his life contemplating the western equivalent of the Pattaya sky dive they will appreciate exhortations to “pull yourself together” are not particularly helpful. Not having the money or the appetite for expensive therapy I put my thoughts together in (an admittedly self indulgent) submission to the stickman site, Broken man and the curse of mammon. I did as my pal Thai Gary so perceptively observed … I consulted my “Tribe” for advice.

The reaction from the stickman community was nothing less than amazing. Within the   ... To be continued

brokenman.com
Posted by: thaiga
« on: September 21, 2018, 12:43:20 AM »

I have to give credit for the guy who actually wrote the first article posted from bkknites.com in this thread his name is bangkok seven, i found another article, same sort of thing, so lets go with the flow,interesting, long, but worth reading.

Seven’s 10 Top 10, List Two: Dating In Bangkok. Don’t.

A few months back, Bangkok Nights published a piece I wrote in reaction to one of Stickman’s old blogs on the topic of dating bargirls. Around that same time, I also happened to read an article on Coconuts about the desperate state of dating culture for foreign men in Bangkok. Stickman couldn’t understand why men would date bargirls, and the lady who wrote the Coconuts article (rife with bitter bias) berated foreign men who date Thais as desperate pedes and lowlife dirtbags. But they both missed a larger truth, namely that you can’t shove the square peg of a Buddhist girl raised in Asia into the round hole of Western Judeo-Christian relationship ideals.

They’re diametrically opposed. So while SM accurately pointed out the folly of dating bargirls, and the lady-writer tried to discourage men from dating Thais in general and steer them back towards foreign women, I would like to submit a different—and I think more realistic—take on the topic, which is DON’T date at all.  So here’s the 2nd top 10 list in a series called “Seven’s 10 top 10.” It’s titled “Dating in Bangkok. Don’t.” and it’s the top 10 reasons not to date in Thailand, and why if you are attempting to date, you’re retarded. Here we go:

1. Thai women don’t understand dating. Mistake number one for the Western daters in Bangkok is the assumption that both parties know what dating is and agree on its purpose. This couldn’t be more untrue. Traditional Thais are thinking about marriage from date 1. In fact, the occasional arranged marriage still takes place in these parts. So the thought of prolonged casual dating or being a “girlfriend” isn’t on the minds of many Thais. Now, because of the influence of Western dating culture—mainly through movies and TV—the idea of dating has influenced Thai society to a degree, but they don’t fully understand the purpose and aren’t sure what should take place and when. When should you first sleep together? When should she take you to meet her family? What does it mean that he pays for everything? What’s the difference between being a girlfriend and being a wife? How much power does each person wield? These are all confusing and convoluted concepts for many Thais.

2. Thai women don’t understand Western morality. Another fundamental mistake made by men and the farang women who judge them is something that should be obvious to everyone. The sense of morality and monogamy that the West gained from a long history of influence by the Catholic Church, an ideology that instilled ideas about “right and wrong” in relationships, never made it to Thailand. Thai morality comes from Buddhism and a culture of conservativism based on not losing face or causing embarrassment for oneself or one’s family.  This applies to sexual behavior, fidelity, and the fear of abandonment and single motherhood. So if you came to Thailand thinking dating would be a breeze, you picked the wrong country.

3. Thai women don’t understand Western gender roles. Never mind how confused farang women are about them. Thai women are even more confounded, because what they know from a Thai point of view is based on patriarchy, and what they see on Western TV is that women are the boss, so they are torn in 2 opposite directions at once. In the end, they have no hope of grasping their role from a Western perspective. The only way she’ll be happy is if you abandon all your ideas and ideals about dating and assimilate to the Thai way, which will probably make you unhappy.

4. You can’t pay your girl to be faithful. If you’ve gone back to your home country and you think that by leaving your Thai girlfriend in Thailand with a monthly stipend, it means she’ll remain your girlfriend in your absence, stay home every night and light a candle next to your portrait and wait dutifully for you until your return, you are a moron. She will see your money as a generous gift from a very nice farang and make no connection between that and fidelity. She will continue to go out, possibly screw other dudes for cash, and/or get herself another foreign or Thai boyfriend and not feel a bit bad about it. Because again, Asian cultures do not attach the same moral hang-ups to sex that Western cultures do. If she was OK with sleeping with you, a bit of bedroom gymnastics with someone else doesn’t carry any more moral weight than regular gymnastics.

5. Thai women are in general overly emotional in relationships. There are always exceptions to the rule, but this one is pretty accurate. One need only watch the string of popular soaps on the TV to see where they get this from. Thailand is a very old country, but in some ways it’s very young. At least, the recent generation is, to put it bluntly, emotionally stunted.

6. The temptation to cheat is ever-present. Unless you take her back with you to your home country, you will be living in an adult playground surrounded by temptation that presents itself every time you leave the house. How long do you think you can hold out?

7. Thai women can’t be fooled forever. If you’re a loser, a liar, a lowlife, or a lothario, you may believe you can come to Thailand and re-invent yourself. And some do. But there are some things you can’t change, and more often than not, the people who run here trying to escape themselves wind up finding that they’ve brought their problems with them. If you can’t successfully morph into someone new, no amount of fakery will work. Your Thai mate will eventually suss you out.

8. Thai women don’t understand what you’re saying or doing. Every time you open your mouth, you invite the very likely possibility that you will be misunderstood, and your Western habits are weird and ridiculous in the eyes of a Thai woman.

9. Thai women live in the moment. It’s a Buddhist trait to not dwell on the past or long for the future, but instead to live in the now. If she wakes up and finds herself unhappy with you, she won’t wait for things to get better or invest time and energy in you if the relationship might not pan out. Unless you can trap her with a kid or financial dependence, she’ll run for the door at the first sign of trouble…..or someone better.

10. It’s not her—it’s you.  In a story from November 2016 titled “Finding Miss Right in Thailand” Stickman pointed out that meeting a Thai lady has never been easier. Which is true. That’s not the problem. The meeting part happens almost effortlessly. It’s the subsequent getting-to-know-you, and opposing expectations and behavioral norms that burn the relationship down. But more than anything, the component that is the most incompatible, and one that won’t ever change, is you, the farang. Maybe the reason you couldn’t find anybody in your home country wasn’t the current toxic dating climate. Maybe it wasn’t that all women are b*tches. Maybe the factors that kept you from finding a mate at home are the same ones that make you unsuccessful in Thailand. It’s just a thought. There’s more to making a relationship work than finding a girl who’s responsive and pretty. Both of those fade in time, anyway. Then what are you left with? What have you brought to the table? If you think some money and Y chromosomes are enough, then you deserve to be alone.

So how does this all shake out? Simple. You picked the wrong country to project your hopes of happily-ever-after onto. It is possible to be happy here, under the right circumstances. Some guys get lucky and find a compatible partner, though it demands a lot of work, growth, and compromise from both parties. I’ve taken a different approach. As I said in an earlier blog, I personally have never had a bad experience with a Thai girl, though I believe that’s because I’m not looking for a girlfriend. My quest is for a different kind of relationship, one which I plan to lay out in a later editorial. But you can get a feel for it in the above list. I’ve avoid the pitfall of looking for, hoping for, or believing in a fanciful ideal that doesn’t exist—namely that a farang can date with the intention of finding a fairytale love relationship like the one he dreamed of when he was too young and stupid to know better. It’s time to grow up and face reality, if you haven’t already. More on that later.

That said, people can and do find good relationships here. It’s just less likely than you probably thought. So if it works out for you, great. But if it doesn’t, see the above list for why, and then take the time to learn how to be alone and be OK with it. That’s the first crucial step in the right direction.

Donate: patreon.com/bangkokseven or Paypal: bangkokseven7@gmail.com
Posted by: thaiga
« on: September 20, 2018, 02:19:20 PM »

Local Divorcee Falls In Love With First Woman He Makes Eye Contact With In Pattaya



Shortly after touching down in Pattaya for his first ever solo trip to French-Indo-China, Steve Counsell has fallen in love again.

The 52-year-old Mt Isa shift supervisor went to Thailand on his holiday for some rest and relaxation – but may be leaving with much more.

The divorced father from Ipswich, who after several years of internet dating and auditioning for love-related reality television programmes, had almost given up on finding love again. However, he’s been swept off his feet by Chailai Srisati, a 23-year-old nail technician.

They meet at a bar on the famous beach, and the sparks flew.

Fun, bubbly and incredibly caring 27-year-old Chailai and Mr Counsell seem to have hit it off.

“We have such a strong emotional relationship already. Honestly, I tell you I am almost certain this is the real deal,” he explained.

Aside from the cheap beer and the modest lifestyle that the Australian dollar can buy, Mr Counsell told The Advocate that he’s also in love with the Thai culture.

Sadly, the final week of his holiday is approaching and it’s looking like some difficult conversations about his future with Chailai need to be had.

“Our bond is so strong, that I know if I go back home we can still chat on the internet every day. I’ve suggested the idea of her potentially moving back over with me, and she seemed to really like that,” Mr Counsell said.

His son, Rob rolled his eyes when asked about his father’s new relationship.

“Jesus Christ, it’s so pathetic isn’t it,” he said. “He full-on thinks it’s legit as well. I can’t wait to see Mum’s face if he brings her over here, though.”

betootaadvocate.com
Posted by: Johnnie F.
« on: September 19, 2018, 09:08:10 PM »

Sick attitude for grown up offspring! Why not let him enjoy his life while he still can? He'll be out of their way. Or is it something else they're worried about, like inheritance etc.?
Posted by: thaiga
« on: September 19, 2018, 06:55:48 PM »

More to come soon on Sunday’s Seven’s top 10 tips - List Two :o until then here's an article from theguardian.com

Since my mother’s death, my father has moved to Thailand to live with a young woman

He went straight after my mum’s funeral, leaving my brother and me to cope. He seems to have no understanding of how his behaviour has upset the family


My father spends more than half the year in Thailand, where he has a girlfriend about 40 years his junior (Posed by models). Photograph: Alamy

My father, who is nearly 70, has in the last couple of years established a life for himself in Thailand and now spends more than half the year there, where he has a house and a girlfriend about 40 years his junior. My mother died three years ago, and he left for Thailand immediately after the funeral, leaving my brother and me to deal with the aftermath. My father had had a long-term affair with a young Asian woman while on business trips before Mum’s death, which created a huge amount of turbulence in the family. She forgave him, they worked it out, but she sadly died a few years later. A year after her death, my father was diagnosed with cancer while in England, which my brother and I nursed him through. He recovered and headed straight back to Thailand to continue his new life.

The lasting effect of all this is that my brother’s long-term partner cannot stand to be with my dad, as she feels his behaviour and attitude has been selfish and unacceptable, while my wife has witnessed the grief that my brother and I have suffered while he was away and has no love for him either, combined with a feeling that his reason for being in Thailand is rather seedy.

I do not begrudge him a new life, or have any major moral problem with his lifestyle (which he assures me is nothing like the stereotypes), but the thing that causes me such frustration is his lack of awareness that he may be upsetting people. He has reluctantly apologised for his behaviour after Mum died, but does not seem to understand why some people may feel continued resentment towards him, or that there might be anything untoward about his new life and how it impacts on the family. So there is now a rift in the family which is not going away and, if anything, is deepening.

theguardian.com
Posted by: thaiga
« on: September 19, 2018, 01:01:01 PM »

some of the original post is true, how awful and spiteful some expats can be, reading the news on a forum, i read that the famous Richard Gere was to become a dad at the age of 69, the first comment made below it said

(how nice when the kid grows up he will be able to push him about in his wheelchair) do we realy need people like that, why i ask myself, i can only think
the person is so unhappy, i almost feel sorry for him.
Yes i read that comment, the actual words were (Shame the kid won't be able to 'play with Dad', just push his wheelchair around.) if you look at the guys avatar you will see he has a pint of beer in his hand. the comment below that ( Just proves that if you are rich, relatively famous, and reasonably good looking, you too can have a trophy wife 34 years younger than you, and have sex with her! lol ) wrong mate you don't need to be rich, relatively famous, and reasonably good looking, a sense of humour would be a step in the right direction ;)
Posted by: surbition
« on: September 18, 2018, 10:40:52 PM »

some of the original post is true, how awful and spiteful some expats can be, reading the news on a forum, i read that the famous Richard Gere was to become a dad at the age of 69, the first comment made below it said

(how nice when the kid grows up he will be able to push him about in his wheelchair) do we realy need people like that, why i ask myself, i can only think
the person is so unhappy, i almost feel sorry for him.
Posted by: bunky
« on: September 17, 2018, 03:53:15 PM »

look out bunkys back

life will be no easier than it would be with a lady from your home country = it will be hard work that means

Many men—mostly retirees or very unattractive men come to find a wife... no woman in their home country will pay them the time of day = that is far from what some believe or will admit to

you lie and you cheat = that is strong words, could mean some forum guys, the hit and run mob

The notion that you can get off the plane, quote a price to the first woman you see, and take her to your hotel room is a myth and an insult. = stories they have listened to back home, the insult can be very dangerous

No matter how old she is, your girlfriend will be emotionally immature = really  ;)
Posted by: thaiga
« on: September 16, 2018, 05:10:49 PM »

Sunday’s Seven’s 10 Top 10: Finding a Wife (1-5) or Girlfriend (6-10)

A short list of tips on finding a partner from bangkokseven @ bkknites.com  So, as you may know, Thailand is many things to many people. It’s got gorgeous beaches, a rich culture, and a population of kind, delightful people. And, it’s both a playground for those seeking adult pleasures and a hunting ground for men seeking a lifelong companion. Which makes for an eclectic mix of wide-eyed foreigners frantically searching for what will fill the empty space within. For those in the latter group, who want more than anything to find “the one” and have come to this glorious country to do just that, here’s a short list of tips to maybe hopefully keep you from going off the rails.

1 through 5 focus on the topic of a Thai wife, 6 through 10 on a girlfriend


1.) Go slow. Many men—mostly retirees or very unattractive men, though there are always exceptions to the rule—come to Thailand to find a wife.  They’ve heard that Thai women are less picky about aesthetics, and no woman in their home country will pay them the time of day, so they embark on an epic quest to land a gal in the Land of Smiles.  And a lot of the time, it works out.  But there’s a lot to consider.  For this reason, it’s important to take your time.  Don’t wed the first girl to pay attention to you, or the first girl to agree to a 2nd date.  For some, there might be a sense of urgency, as if no other woman but this woman will show any promise.  That’s not the case.  Take a deep breath, be patient, and move slowly.  Even if it means leaving and coming back a few times.  There’s no need to hurry, Thailand isn’t going anywhere, and it’s filled to the brim with sweet, lovely women.
   
2.) Be wary without being suspicious.  Yes, some are after your money.  But if you regard every woman as though they’re just waiting to pick your pocket, you’ll end up looking like a jerk and never get past square one.  Don’t come off as untrusting, but don’t behave like a dupe, either.  Find the middle ground.  And if a girl brings up money, don’t automatically assume she’s only after that one thing.  Thai girls are after money because their families are large and the offspring are charged with caring for their elderly parents AS WELL AS any children they themselves might have.  So money is a justifiable concern.  Find out if marrying her means supporting her extended family, and discern whether or not you can afford to do that.  If you can’t, find a lady who was orphaned.

3.) Your married life will be Western, not Thai.  Thai men are typically not ideal husbands.  They cheat, they’re sometimes cruel to their women, they’re often lazy—all of which is attributable to the patriarchal society in Thailand.  But your Thai wife will expect you to treat her like you would a Farang wife.  That’s why she married you.  So no polygamy, and no misogyny.

4.) Make sure she wants to live where you want to live.  Some women will expect you to relocate to Thailand permanently, so she can remain close to her family (and so you can care for all of them as well as for her).  Some will expect to be taken back to your native country to live how you live when you’re there.  This should be a topic you discuss in length and come to an agreement about before you put the ring on her finger.
   
5.) If you give your Thai wife an excuse to stab you, she probably will.  Thais are very emotionally explosive when it comes to infidelity (part of the Thai double standard explained in a different list), and while a girlfriend might merely get angry, a wife will turn downright homicidal. And in her estimation, and in the eyes of all of her friends and relatives, she’ll be justified.  So if you cheat on your Thai wife, do it in Cambodia or Hong Kong or somewhere she can never find out, or risk waking up one night to the sight of her and a butcher knife raised above your chest.
   
6.) Your girlfriend has already met many farang, and what she’s learned from those experiences is, you lie and you cheat.  So if you want to have a Thai girlfriend, realize and accept ahead of time that she will never ever trust you.
   
7.)  Most women in Thailand are NOT bar girls.  The notion that you can get off the plane, quote a price to the first woman you see, and take her to your hotel room is a myth and an insult.  The majority of Thai women are straight-laced, conservative, traditional, and demand respect.  In fact, even bar girls are worthy of respect.  I’ve known bar girls that married one of their customers, settled down, and became wonderful wives. You can’t tell from meeting a girl what she’s really like deep down, so suspend all prejudgments and commitments regarding your girl until you’ve really taken the time to know her.
   
8.) Your girlfriend will rely on you for money.  Thai women are not gold-diggers for the most part, but they do equate security with love.  If you take care of her (monetarily and emotionally), she will reciprocate by taking care of you (physically and emotionally).  Thais don’t place much value on the warm romantic “feeling” that Westerners tend to ascribe to relationships.  Most Thais are more realistic, and see your effort to provide as a true act of love.
   
9.) Your girlfriend will have many hot friends.  The double-edged sword of Thailand is the vast number of amazing, gorgeous, wonderful women that abound everywhere, and the further you get away from touristy areas, the more they tend to abound and the more sought-after you will be as a farang.  So if you see yourself struggling to remain faithful, do yourself and your girlfriend a favor and break up.  And never ever get with any of her friends, even after the break-up.  Thais are incapable of keeping secrets, so your girlfriend will inevitably find out and stab you.
   
10.) No matter how old she is, your girlfriend will be emotionally immature.  The Western idea of “love” and “romance” have only recently made their way into the culture here, through music and movies, and so Thais are still trying to wrap their heads around the idea and ideal of farang love.  For this reason, many display the characteristics of love-struck teenagers (even the middle-aged ones!). So be prepared—there will be no Dr. Phil moments, no couples therapy, and very little cold calculated logic.  Instead be prepared for lots of emotion, excitement, a bit of danger, and a few headaches along with the fun, joy, and fulfillment that come with a Thai girlfriend.  This is what you’ve signed up for.

The main point you should take from this list is, if you’re coming to Thailand thinking it’s going to be easier to get a woman here than in your own country, you’re right—it’s just that once you’ve got her, life will be no easier than it would be with a lady from your home country.

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