Author Topic: Expat wives biggest fear Hubby running off with a bargirl  (Read 911 times)

Offline thaiga

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Expat wives' biggest fear in south-east Asia? Hubby running off with a bargirl

As an American friend here in Singapore remarked to me the other day: “There's a certain kind of man who, after years of being ugly, suddenly is not when he comes to Asia.  He’s flocked by young women and realises they had him all wrong back at home, it must have been the harsh overhead lights of his office.  In this bar in Bangkok, hey, he’s Prince Charming.”

The expat man as a chick magnet? It may be a cliché, but it’s one that worries many expat wives out here.  Horror stories of so-and-so’s hubby running off with the Filipina maid, or a Vietnamese cutie / Thai bargirl he met on a business trip are rife at expat coffee mornings.

My friend’s remark was prompted by a story she was relating of a male acquaintance of hers, a high-earning senior executive at an international company. He dumped his wife to marry a woman who had called out to him from a kiosk in Bangkok. Fran said the temptress had diamond studs in her  gold-capped front teeth.

I started hearing such stories soon after my arrival as an expat in the flesh pots of the east. Soon, disaster befell one of my neighbours, a British woman married to a hotshot businessman – they had four children.

After he bolted, I saw photos of him in his youth, and he wasn’t bad looking then. But by now he was fat and balding; the brutal truth was he was unattractive, except possibly still to his wife, and not a catch, except financially. He travelled regularly to Thailand. While I was still stumbling over as-yet-unpacked boxes, he came home and announced he was leaving her for a girl who worked in some Bangkok watering hole he’d visited.

I expect you’re thinking: so what? Could happen anywhere. You can’t command love. Four kids? Of course he left! A middle-aged wife and mother can expect to be dumped wherever she lives, and if expat wives are paranoid, that’s their problem.

Fair point from stickmanbangkok

He says: “If a Thai woman asks an expat for money and he gives it to her, is that a scam?  That is what happens in so many of these cases.  A guy agrees to give money to his girlfriend each week or month or however often.  Then when the relationship fails he says he was scammed.  Is it a scam if someone asks you for something and you willingly give it?

"Even in those relationships where he supports her well and she sleeps around or looks for a guy who will support her to a greater extent, I am not sure I would use the word scam. I would call it a fair exchange.”

more on this article:
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.