Author Topic: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand  (Read 2309 times)

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Offline thaiga

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An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« on: September 27, 2016, 02:01:08 PM »
Another interesting post from  inspirepattaya.com. The author Bryan Flowers. Bryan founded Pattaya-Addicts.com in 2005 and set up Night Wish group of investors which has 10 lady bars and encounting in Pattaya. He also part owns Bite me bistro. He's a family man and is dedicated to muay thai and learning thai. here's the article with some thoughts about what he has learnt in the last ten years here.

Total Immersion – An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand

I thought I would write some thoughts about what I have learnt in the last ten years (continously) living in Pattaya, Thailand. Sorry about my grammar or spellings but I enjoy writing and I dont enjoy correcting stuff.

I moved here when I was 25, so it was probably easier for me to adapt and survive than a guy much older, but it really depends on the person also. Plenty of older guys that don’t resist change and thrive here. What I am saying in my opinion, is the faster you change and adapt to live like a Thai, the more chance you will settle in, stay and thrive here. If you look at the unhappy guys, they are living in a bubble, hanging out with fellow country men, eating farang food, moaning about Thais and life in general. Whereas the happier guys seem to be the ones you see eating Thai food on the floor with other Thais, they have adapted and are going with the flow.

One of my goals moving here was to make money and be happy, something I couldn’t do in the UK, I was unhappy there. Mostly due to not being able to find attractive skinny women that wanted me. I didnt want to settle for anything. After hearing and reading many stories, I decided if I want to live here long term, I need to have a girlfriend, I’ve had them since I was 14 and I am lost without one, I just need that one person behind me and to keep us away from bad vices.

Everyday I woke up from a bad dream, that I had to go back to the UK, it got me up and working, it drove me to work, I also had no money and no other choice, if I came here with a nest egg, I probably would have blown it eventually like most other guys seem to,

In my quest for happiness and peace I figured a few things out quickly, I will use driving as an example, I am a very polite English driver, who queues and give way fairly and I often let people cross the road or pull out. But I was getting very angry at getting cut up and people driving arrogantly. If you change your behavior and drive very aggressively, you will get angry much less. In fact it depends where I am or how heavy the traffic is but often I end up driving aggressively, but I still try and have manners when not many cars around. Most guys bitch about driving here and avoid it, but if you learn, experience and adapt its another thing ticked off.

Another issue is face, farangs take a while to understand it and it still catches me out, often I am left surprised at face issue… we recently had a bar owner next door that lost face cuz one of our girls insulted her, so in return she embarrassed herself and did things to make us all angry, so I guess sometimes they think revenge gets them face, but in fact it looses it, some of the better Thais would keep quiet and talk privately to the boss. Lots of westerners complain when farang start getting concerned about loss of face, but when you live here you need to adapt, “face” makes society behave, it underpins everything, it often makes westerners very angry when they don’t understand it, many buildings are empty in Pattaya because the landlord doesn’t want to lose face and reduce their rent. I think the farang that start thinking about there own face are guys that will thrive here, because they are going with the flow instead of against it.

Learn the Language

Language is one of the biggest causes of arguments, conflicts in relationships, business and daily life. Not only that you become less efficient as a human and not reaching your potential here, you miss out of the ways Thai think, to really know what they are like, you need to learn their language, it does really teach you about their culture. Once your language skills take off, you have more understanding, therefore less things to get mad about. For instance Thais often say “wait 5 minutes” they translate this to our language and we take it as accurate approximation, otherwise they would have said 10 or 20 minutes right? Well they say 5 minutes to anything, so it could be 30 minutes lol But now I understand that I can deal with it by doing some work on my phone or going away and coming back.

There are too many benefits to list from learning the language of the country you stay in and you often underestimate it until you start learning but if you want a better chance of happiness and satisfaction here, its better to talk to the locals and you will find a lot better prices around and maybe people that can help you. Plenty of Thais are more capable of helping us than most farang here, so its good to befriend them. I am currently learning Thai 28 hours per week again, reading and writing in part of my quest for total immersion. There is a whole new world opening up for me right now and you sure get Thais being a lot friendlier with you and nicer.

Understanding Lateness

Lateness, it was explained to me why Thais are always late. When there is a 9 am meeting at city call, no one turns up til 9.45 or 10 am, this system works very well if everyone is late, but when us punctual farang turn up on time, we are creating the problem, if only we just came late also, then we wouldn’t be sitting there seething lol.

It is a very long post so ... To be continued, Thanks again to Bryan Flowers
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Offline thaiga

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Re: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2016, 12:09:41 AM »
Here is a bit more from inspirepattaya.com.

He goes on to say ...


Eat Thai Food

Thai food – This was the biggest thing for me to battle, I ate some Thai food in the last 10 years but not much, then I eat mostly farang food and I waste 1000 baht per day easily, when I should be eating like a local. (lots of money wasted) I don’t give my kid farang food as it will be an expensive burden for the rest of his life. Its only the last two months, where I have been seeking total immersion, I’ve been in the markets eating the ready cooked cold meals, (its tough getting used to eat meals that have been sitting around for hours at room temp, we are used to getting them served hot) But it makes sense not to eat hot food in a hot climate.

I even started eating see food and spicy stuff. I am slowly getting used to it, but suddenly I have many more places to eat and everything is so more convenient and I am not a burden when I’m out and about and I need to eat. I was at the high courts a few weeks ago and I was happy to eat cold spicy chicken slops, whereas other times I would go without food. I have
promised my wife I will try som tam and durian in my quest for total immersion.

Corruption

Corruption, this is a world where most of us don’t understand, I have a deep knowledge of how things work compare to others and I still don’t know much. I see some people moaning about corruption, then are happy to pay a bribe when they do something bad. Its better to accept it than complain. Sometimes it works in our favour, sometimes it doesn’t. I don’t say anything cuz one day I might get into a fight and I will need the same services.

I keep talking about total immersion throughout my text, but I feel that is the best way to learn Thai language and to be happy here. Now I am eating Thai food, I have more opportunities to practice Thai language. Before anyone says it, I think there are guys here happy and stay in there bubble and heavily relies on there wife’s, but its not a good long term solution, I will have another 30-40 years living here, so the faster I adapt and sink in, the better I will thrive financially and with happiness, it feels good not needing my wife to translate everything and help me. It makes me feel like a man again going out and doing difficult tasks alone. I also feel that Thais miss out of our personalities and the only real way to let it shine is by communication fluently.

Acclimatise!

Air-con – if you can sleep with no air-con at night your life will become a lot easier, I don’t care that people say we cant acclimatise, I strongly believe we can, we just need to avoid cold for long periods, no air con at night is a big help, it will also save money that is wasted across the years. Right now I have started the no air con thing at home, its not easy but I am doing it cuz I go to school soon and I need to wear trousers and shirt and I don’t want to sweat like a rapist on trial. A lot of smokers blame there respiratory problems on air con (couldn’t possibly be the smoking lol) but either way air-con is probably not a good thing for you, especially if no one cleans the filters. Next step I will try is no air-con in the car sometimes and I do saunas and keep fit. (helps a lot)

Budgeting

Budgeting – recently I gave myself a silly challenge of budgeting 750 baht per day which is impossible with someone in my position, that drives around all day and has meetings and many bills and stuff to pay for, but at least I get free food in my restaurant and free drinks in my bars. One of the good things about budgeting is that it rocks your world and suddenly you are finding new things, I didn’t walk anywhere before and I hadn’t used a baht bus for 4 years. It also forces us to do things like Thai people do (we went to children s discovery museum in Bangkok) its free and never would have gone, my kid had a great time. It also makes me eat Thai food and do other Thai things.

Buddhism

Buddhism, as Thais are Buddhist its great to understand the way it works and you get a better idea about Thai people and culture. I have often thought about being a monk for a month, just for the experience and to practice Thai, but at the same time I don’t want to be fake, I believe in their concepts but I don’t believe in a god, especially as more and more technical advances come around. I do want to learn and experience more, so I will leave that idea on a back burner.


well i thought that was interesting, how another expat gets by here and he certainly leads a full life, living on his beliefs.
Good points in that post. it feels good not needing my wife to translate everything and help me.
Not so sure about eating somtam though. Like most of us you need that one person behind you to keep you away from bad vices. Fair play to a guy that can come here and earn a living.

Like i said a loooooooooooong post so ... To be continued. Thanks again to all at inspirepattaya.com
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Offline Baby Farts

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Re: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« Reply #2 on: September 28, 2016, 08:22:58 PM »
Thanks for this post, Thaiga, but this guy has no clue about the Thais or how things really work here.  For starters, he left out a huge part of what I call, "Thainess."  It starts from birth and is taught through school and every facet of their lives. It brainwashes them.  I'm amazed that people can live here so long and still not figure things out. Then they want to become like the Thais.  Why would anyone want to do that?  Get along and try to live and let live, but for God's sake, don't ever think you can be a Thai or give up your culture for one that isn't yours.  Great article, which confirms the number of nitwits living in the Kingdom. He's considered becoming a monk and at the same time talks about corruption.  :lol

Offline thaiga

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Re: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« Reply #3 on: September 28, 2016, 10:36:44 PM »
Thanks for them points of view B/F. good reply, here's a few of mine

This guy loves thailand, nothing wrong with that, but is he trying to be thai, imo whatever you learn here, language. eat thai food, behave like thai people, you will never be accepted as thai. You are a farang and that's it. Is he setting himself goals that he will never be able to meet, that could be upsetting. I admire him for trying and not just sitting on his ass at one of the bars. I hope he gets the residence visa and the scholarship he goes for.

When in rome do as ... but sitting on the floor eating somtam is not for me, Although i like and eat most thai food, i was brought up to sit at a table on a chair, give me a bacon sandwich with brown sauce dripping out the side and a mug of tea anyday. Personaly i don't think it's good to lose too many of your home values. You see to many farang nerds eating somtam and saying no it's not spicy for me  :-[ rubbish, it's even spicy for thai people to eat.

Speaking thai, thats not a big problem, but korat people do not speak the same as bangkok people, like londoners don't speak the same as northerners. going further into isaan it changes again. "Mai pen rai"  spoken in korat would be spoken in isaan as "Whopping yung dog" iv'e spelt it as it sounds, try it with your missus. But reading and writing thai, that aint easy, but this guy is still young, He says he trusts his wife 100% now where have i heard that before  Be interesting to see how he gets on.


Here's the last part of the very long post from  inspirepattaya.com

Muay Thai

Muay Thai – I do muay Thai 5 times per week and boxing. Muay thai is a great chance for me to learn about Thai things and practice my Thai daily. Its the ultimate immersion, after you have sparred with some Thai guys, they treat you like brothers and other Thais love us learning Muay Thai, they are very proud of it and so they should be.

School and Education


School and Education. I am starting school at a temple soon, its bascially bor 1 – bor 6 then mor 1 – mor 6. (That seems to be what you need to join university here) I have done bor 1 – bor 2 before, but its still going to be a very tough challenge, there is only one farang in the school and I am having to get a yellow tabian baan book to join. (I need an ID number) The course is free and its for drop outs or poor people that never got to finish their school or never went at all. Its all for free also, so I can drop out without feeling too guilty. I will have to do science, maths, business, geography/history over again. Andrew Biggs inspired me here, he did a degree in media (all in written and spoken Thai) but I wont be doing a degree, I have no goals except to become the best ever at reading and writing Thai. I dont care for certificates, but If I get up to bor 6, I will be very happy! This will really teach me more about Thailand and the people and add to my experiences.
Doing things that seem shite or a waste of time, sometimes I agree to attend or help someone and many would think why the fu*k are you doing that, well if you don’t go you will never know. If you stay in the house you get less opportunities. If you are in the right place and right time, you can get lucky. There are plenty of guys around like me that are constantly looking for staff or opportunities and the best way is to get to know people. (but I am going off topic now, this is simply wisdom I have learnt)

Thai Nationality

Thai nationality – I am starting the lengthy process of becoming a Thai national, there are a few threads on T/V if guys are interested, its a big subject to delve into it, so I wont talk about it here. But I already been to police head quarters and spoke to them, I’ve got a friend going through the process at the moment and hes helping me. Right now I need 3 years paying personal tax under my belt (with a work permit) I also need to be in a yellow book for a while, which I am doing in 3 weeks. But I am hoping it will only take 6 years maximum, but once I do that I can speak out and stand up for myself a lot more and police/immigration cannot threaten to send me away. This will give me a lot of power and I could even hold things for people to keep them safe or even go on licenses. (no I wouldn’t haha) It will also be nice to have one of our houses or plots of land in my name, I trust my wife 1000% but it would be nice to have something in my name.

thai-tv

Thai TV – I only watch TV now, I try and do this to learn Thai and practise and then I also know current topics to talk to Thais about. I must admit they go way too fast for me to understand, but I am slowly picking out more words one by one. I can see slow progress, I also search for Thai movies on youtube with English subs to help me translate. I also get inspired by this farang blogger “My mate nate” https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7rtE7hSTaC8xDf5v_7O1qQ I really wish a few creative guys got together and organised something like this, I would dedicate some time into it.

Thai Women

Ladies – Learning Thai, understanding Thais more means you are going to be better equipped to choose a good partner and you are less likely to have the wool pulled over your eyes. At home we judge people on jeremy kyle that talk like chavs and act like them, but for some guys its hard for them to spot with a language barrier. I personally steer clear of girls that are impolite and use bad language, I don’t care about class, (my wifes family are farmers) but I want politeness and a good partner. Most the guys bitching about Thai women, simply met a prostitute on holiday and had a whirl wind romance, except the guy doesn’t realise the bargirls have whirl wind romances with guys on every trip.

Patience

Patience – Most things here are done slowly and in old ways such as the courts still write to each other and it takes a long process. (but I stop myself complaining when I remind myself, stop being so serious or westernised and enjoy the moment instead of boiling over, after all we came here to escape the rat race and fast lane. I have very little patience, I have tried to battle this by meditating but I am too impatient, but I am slowly fixing it. I do not care if someone is late anymore (unless I have a meeting after) and if I am stuck in traffic, I can use learn Thai apps, read, catch up on emails or message people back.

One of my pet hates is when guys come to Pattaya, they dont experience real Thai people or the real Thailand but then they think all Thais are the same and judge it by the greedy types that every city in the world attracts. Alot of guys can’t seem to distinguish between a bar girl, a regular girl, a girl in between and middle/high class girls. They will often joke all Thai girls cheat, but if you meet a girl in a brothel and then she continue working because your just a customer, then you have to lie in the bed you created. My experience with regular girls is that they are difficult to get into, which I think is a good thing, but thats like real society everywhere. I’m not trying to side with the girls, but they get lied to also, plenty of guys with a hardon offering to send them money to stop work, but then it stops when the guy gets home hits reality and wakes up from his dream.

Having said all that, we should keep some of our culture/ways. I am never going to pretend to be Thai, I never wore Thai clothes during my wedding etc, because I said I am a farang and I’m proud of where I am from. I was brought up in England and I still want to teach my wife and kids about that. Having 2 cultures is best because you can take the best from each culture, some people slam Thais but they are no worst or better than us, they are just different and people use poor examples of a silly incident. Every time there is a beating of 4 Thais on 1 farang, all the farang are up in arms about Thais fighting like a pack of dogs… well their is scumbags/thugs in every society, it does not reflect the mainstream public.

I would also like to point out, trying to change the ways Thai’s think and apply western standards doesn’t work here because they have there own way of doing things and its going to take generations for them to be westernized as much as us, but its already happening fast thanks to youtube and facebook creating a global community and giving people a voice! Saying that most of us came here to get away from the west so I dont think its a particularly bad thing, I like the way things work here often. I remember seeing young Thais commenting on youtube videos showing corruption and they said, dont worry, our generation will sort it out and look after you. I have seen those changes happening already!

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution – one last thing I often like about the Thais, when farang argue or conflict they can get very confrontational, your never gonna approach a situation fairly if you feel you are the one thats right. I’ve even see farang business owners resolve conflicts by bringing in there high ranking police/army or some other person of importance. We have used this method before, because two elders can discuss the problem fairly and save face for each other at the same time, and most Thais will listen to their elders or more senior friends, I love that respect here. Its very very rare it actually boils down to violence or nastiness.

Well that's the post folks and i enjoyed reading it don't forget. We came here to escape the rat race and fast lane enjoy yourself
Bye the way wheres Takeitor
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Offline dawn

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Re: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« Reply #4 on: September 29, 2016, 12:02:16 PM »
if the guy wants to set stringent sanctions for himself that's fine.but don't expect your immediate family and friends to follow,or he could be standing on his own. here is just 1 contradiction at just glancing at the article.

I personally steer clear of girls that are impolite and use bad language, I don’t care about class :spin
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Offline Baby Farts

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Re: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« Reply #5 on: September 29, 2016, 06:01:27 PM »
If he wants a downgrade, then so be it. Dawn is correct.  Don't expect the immediate family and friends to follow.  The fleas on the dog's back are more important than him.  He just hasn't figured that out yet.  :salute

I love this part:

"Alot of guys can’t seem to distinguish between a bar girl, a regular girl, a girl in between and middle/high class girls. "

What difference does it make?  In the end they ALL want your money.  This guy has no idea.  I can go to the The Mall, sweet talk any of the girls he's mentioned and guarantee I will be doing the bedroom Olympics that same night. Of course you don't want to ask them how much, but when you're done you have to use some tactics like:

"Are you hungry or do you need a cab?  Here's XXXX baht." 

Another one, "Whoa!  You know, I saw this beautiful dress at The Mall today.  You would look so good in it, and I'd really like to see what you look like in it. Here's XXXX baht.  Go buy it."

There are more, but those are just a few. 

Offline thaiga

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Re: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« Reply #6 on: September 30, 2016, 10:26:20 PM »
The fleas on the dog's back are more important than him.  He just hasn't figured that out yet.

:lol :lol :lol

Just because your money is excepted and you are keeping the woman, that don't give you the right to tell her how to live, unless you want to make them feel like employees.

There was a westerner that hooked up with a thai lady nearby to me a few years back, yes he was generous to her and her family. but in return he wanted to tell his mrs. and her thai kids how to live, even down to eating. He stopped the kids eating sweets, crisps, ice cream, and all the things kids like, yogurt or milk was the order of the day, or no money.

He went everywhere on this old boneshaker of a bicycle, it was his hobby. He then purchased a brand new sort of racing bike, the old bike he give to his Mrs. who hated cycling. He made her cycle into town and back (15 kilo each way)  :o on market day every week, of course she got not only a sore bum but remarks from all she knew like, (Have farang with jack- i-yan, mi-me-lod) sort of degrading for a lady with a farang, they do have to put up with the gossip as well.

She turned up at our house one day in tears needing someone to talk to, her actual words were. "he think i work for him and he big boss, my children go stay with Yi"  Needless to say they soon parted.
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.

Offline sowhat

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Re: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« Reply #7 on: October 01, 2016, 04:51:45 PM »
thanks for sharing that. 30 clicks round trip  :-[ i expect she is not the only chick to get a sore, better not go there.
I hope you give her some talcum powder / i bet the kids didn't go short only when he was in view, there to smart for that.

Offline thaiga

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Re: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« Reply #8 on: October 02, 2016, 01:55:29 PM »
"Welcome to Thailand"

I know it's a friendly gesture and could be the only english some know. "Welcome to Thailand" i keep hearing, do thai's naturally think when they see a farang that your on holiday, when answered back in thai, i hear "Ah!Koo" you teacher.
My point being your still labelled as an outsider a foreigner.

could be the longer you live somewhere, the more your find faults or should i say differences.
like If the lie allows someone to save face, then it’s allowed

Living in a new country is a novelty for a while, maybe when the novelty wears off, some look at it a bit different. it don't bother me, but for some the farang label is a tough thing to deal with. The hill tribe people know what it's like to be outsiders, yet some are among the most generous in Thailand even though they are the poorest.

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.

Offline thaiga

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Yet another article surfaces, on expats bashing expats, Personally myself i'm getting a bit bored with the thread.
BUT ... over 500 views must be of interest to some. So here's another article from inspirepattaya.com. giving the advice to
leave the west at home, and think a little more about planet Thai, i don't see any thais complaining, i would not even think they were the least bothered. sounds like some expats are though. REMEMBER, non members if you want to reply and have your say just hit the reply button below.

Here are some paragraphs from the article.


Farangs are from Mars, Thais are from Venus

Hence the title – are those from a western background really so different to the men women and children of the Land of Smiles. Or is there a gap as wide as the Gulf of Thailand? At times when you look at forums where foreigners gather to discuss Thailand – and Thaiv--- forum is a perfect example – it appears like it is “us vs them”. A battle every bit as ferocious and lacking in understanding as that between the sexes in Gray’s 1990s bestseller.

Even people who have lived in the kingdom for years find themselves in many situations where they are perceived as recently arrived and perhaps have to “prove” themselves all over again. So the totting up of points never seems to end for many.

Indeed it can’t – remember to many people you always look like you just got off the boat.

For me the biggest problem is that foreigners living in Thailand are wont to compare everything with where they have come from – both good and bad. This is only natural, I suppose, especially among newbies but a far better way is to compare Thailand with Thailand, Thais with Thais.

Leave all your baggage from the west where it belongs – abroad.

Thais hate too many details – this bugs foreigners who like everything buttoned down and explained. If you really need something done according to specifics you need to rationally explain exactly what you want.

Many foreigners complain they are seen as nothing more than walking ATMs. Thais think that if you have money you should share it. If you don’t want to part with it you will need to explain why in terms they will understand. Some vague need for it in the future doesn’t usually cut it as Thais are a much more in the present people.

Not parting with money will get you called mean. Smile and agree. And move on.

People on forums suggest that Thais are rude. Some are frequently. But then so is everybody

Many posters on forums are extremely rude about Thai people and suggest their IQ is ....

full article inspirepattaya.com
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.

Offline sowhat

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Re: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« Reply #10 on: October 03, 2016, 01:29:26 PM »
many posters on forums are extremely rude,i would of said / many articles are extremely rude, and towards expats  :wai

Offline thaiga

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Re: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« Reply #11 on: October 05, 2016, 11:29:18 AM »
No more expat bashing posts found as late - anyway there just a copy n paste of someone else's article and it's just to make news. The heading is - An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand - so i'm qualified for that. Here's a bit of my views why some expats could be bitter and a bit bitchy towards others, no offence intended in this post to anyone who has a problem related to it.

Who really cares

For many the dream of living in Thailand has turned sour, What with the exchange rate the way it is and some with cultural and social problems which have brought abrupt endings to their luxury Thai lifestyle.

For those with a drinking problem, it's ideal here where it's cheap and plentiful, a lot of expats that marry isaan girls, where i'm told has a drinking culture. The boredom of living in the remote villages away from civilisation, could lead to even more of a problem, put that together with them lucky enough to have an internet connection, bingo, the hatred for their misserable lives may be bestowed upon others.

Some may drink because they find it very difficult to settle into the local culture, again boredom. there is not an awful lot of programs available to solve the expatriate drinking problem in Thailand. Although there is one in Korat at St. Mary's hospital, which has been posted on here by Koratbob47 If you have a problem with alcohol and want to quit, he says he can help. Information in English - call Bob at 0857599448 or in Thai call Fon at 0990683447.

Depression, Boredom, we all suffer sometime in our lives, but here the reason could be, maybe you thought your life would be better in thailand than it is, would it be any better if you went back home, No i don't think so, as the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.

My heart goes out to those that are stuck in a rut though no fault of their own, sick or whatever, i'm surprised no one has set up some sort of call center for those suffering from depression or in need, not money but someone to talk to.

But you need communication for that and who would contribute their time, when they can't even contribute to the forum they joined.

Pattaya some call the suicide capital of thailand where you regularly hear of expats throwing themself of balconys or ending their lives some way or other, depressed or hurt over their relationship, money all spent, living hand to mouth, mixed that with a skinfull of alcohol.

One reason why some people come here, the cost of living is so cheap, your hard earned cash goes a long way, (well not as good as it was) with todays exchange rate, but still better than home, but don't let that make you miserable by holing yourself up and spend as little as possible. Unless it's about survival and not an obsession. If you have money, but get penny pinching that could make unhappiness. again depression.

If you've lost your way, just start to think back, what made you come here what was the attraction in the first place.

Talking of money,
they say. The person who pays a musician can decide what music he wants to hear.
i say.       The best things in life are free. We don't have to pay for the things that are really valuable, like love, friendship and good health.

Look after yourself, stay healthy. Thaiga
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.

Offline Baby Farts

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Re: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« Reply #12 on: October 05, 2016, 03:23:08 PM »
The phrase should be, "Welcome to Thailand your money." Have you ever noticed that the laws here are designed so that your hard owned cash comes into the country, but never goes out? You can thank the Thai-Chinese for that one....and I ended up marrying one. <groan>.

Offline thaiga

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Re: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« Reply #13 on: October 06, 2016, 12:17:39 PM »
Yes B/F. so true - your hard owned cash comes into the country, but never goes out - it's a one way system - where does it go, here is some idea.

"You Can Take Care me"

One of the things you hear when hitching up with a thai lady is, "You Can Take Care me"  Why because females are an asset to a family, and the family is number one, most daughters do as the family says, you are well down the order of the pecking list, a daughter will even sell her body to take care of her family.

But if you educate her, into your way of thinking, over the years and take reasonable care of her children, you should be soon coming up on the pecking order list, hopefully and live a happy family life.

Just steer clear of the gold diggers, but you won't notice them if your looking through the bottom of a glass every night, then that's your own thought. Don't let love blind you, a long engagement is wise before you commit yourself, you will soon know if your in with the gold diggers as they won't be able to wait that long and you will get the signs of a con, sick buffalo, hospital bills or whatever.

Even in the small villages there are many wonderful girls that would make a good wife, if you get a good one you have a friend for life. Admired, loved and respected. But you must always think whats around the corner, you never know what can happen, just don't put all your eggs in one basket, even keep a nest egg to yourself, even a prenuptial agreement which is known as an "ante nuptial agreement" or in today’s terminology, as a "premarital agreement." Which will specify what each person's property rights are.

You must also take into consideration being the wife of a farang is not easy for her, she has to keep up standards, she will get sarcastic remarks from other woman, as she has a nice house, car, ect. ect. what some have not got. Only the other day my mrs. was doing some gardening, a large fat neighbor woman walked past the house mumbling, you wife farang, why you not pay people to do that work for you, she replied, it keeps my weight down. Ha! Ha!.

I've heard so many guys say, i don't give her any money she has her own, yea right, that's why she's with this fat old guy in the tank top swilling beer, she loves him i think not, so the attraction is, Well! we all know the answer.

Love is possible but it takes time to grow, I would like to think if you've taken care of her needs for many years, she would stand by you in a crisis. If mum n dad or one of the kids were sick, you would be looked upon to take care of the financial side of things if needed.

So there is more than going to thailand and finding a wife and that's it, it goes on and on. Lets not mention the dowry Arr!.
Then there'll be a big party, lets not lose face, make it big it's a farang wedding, dancers, singers, everybody eat and drink and you pay :o

Your now living in thailand, hmm you'll need a car, new one can't lose face, she'll want a motorbike which you'll never see as the family will be borrowing it all the time, you will only see it when it runs dry of gas.

Oh! no i never mentioned the gold, telephone, it goes on and on :-[

All adds up to a pretty penny for having a pretty wife, do your sums first. but if you can afford it and think it's value for money and the relationship will last, why not. But if your on the breadline and don't have enough you might lose what you do have, all.

Will you be building a house to live in, then you'll need some land, wow! that could be a couple of mil. Oh! dear not in your name either, what another house warming party, monks blessing, Oh! don't forget the furniture, fridge, tv, air conditioning, better put a garage for the shiny new car you have, then there's the tax and insurance.

Some of that is actually true, but it ain't funny if things do go wrong. Like medical care can be very expensive.
Do your homework and adding up first and don't rush, you might be pressured into rushing. as your partner wants all them lovely things right away, they say, anything worth having is worth waiting for.

Remember. If your a lover of sweet things, you don't have to buy the sweet shop to get your fix ;)
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.

Offline sowhat

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Re: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« Reply #14 on: October 06, 2016, 11:15:16 PM »
i enjoyed that,glad i married in the uk. it's so true though,only a few would admit it,frightening to those that are in the process and an eye opener to those that are contemplating the issue.

Offline Baby Farts

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Re: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2016, 07:39:25 PM »
The other really messed up thing is this Sin-Sot / Dowry crap.  So I have to PAY to take on the financial responsibility of another person and everyone in the GD family, while my culture and customs takes a back seat.  ::).....and you know....it's all dismissed because the woman will present the foo foo to you and for some reason they think that decimates everything.  Good God.  :uhm  I should've never gotten married.

Offline thaiga

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Re: An Expats View after 10 years in Thailand
« Reply #16 on: October 08, 2016, 12:40:50 AM »
They say sin sod is payment for the mother’s milk, some weddings a large amount of money is shown but returned afterwards, face again  :blank:

A good set of in laws when asked how much to pay would say, it's up to you.
There's normally a bit of Tong Mun thrown in as well, 24-karat gold that you give to your wife to be, this is similar to the giving an engagement ring in the West.
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.

 



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